


All that is Lost

by Sabulana



Category: The Hobbit (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Community: hobbit_kink, Everybody Lives, M/M, Post Battle of Five Armies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2017-12-05 10:23:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/721979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sabulana/pseuds/Sabulana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From a kink meme prompt found here: http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/3138.html?thread=3848770t3848770</p><p> </p><p>  <i>During Thorin's recovery after the Battle of Five Armies no one has seen the hobbit and everyone assumes he's long gone. Which isn't what actually happened.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>Somehow, the Bilbo managed to get lost in the corridors of Erebor and (probably by a blow to the head) lost his memory. Not knowing where or what he is, only that he's small and cold, and doesn't like loud noises, he hides in the farthest walkaways of the kingdom, stealing food whenever he can and hiding from the dwarves who are big and loud and scary to him now.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>After a while (few months? a year?) some dwarves start telling stories about a ghost living in the abandoned parts of Erebor - of the sounds of ghostly footsteps and missing food, etc.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>Thinkng it's an estranged ork or some thief, king's nephews - freshly recovered and looking for an adventure - decide to check the rumors out. And they find the burglar, oh they do.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at a kink meme prompt and I make no promises that the story will behave. If the characters start running away with things, then there is little I can do to stop it. Also, this is my first multi-chapter WIP that I've posted in a hella long time. I'm quite nervous about that. 
> 
> Some important things to note: I am not an expert on all things Tolkien so if there are mistakes and errors, forgive me. This deviates from canon anyway so just go with the alternate universe thing.
> 
> Tags will be updated as necessary. The story will be updated whenever I get the chance.

In the months after the reclaiming of Erebor and the Battle of the Five Armies, many dwarves who had once fled Erebor returned, seeking a place to call home once again. They brought their families, many of whom had never set eyes on the mountain before. Among them were other dwarves from Dain’s kingdom, seeking to help their brethren. With the ever growing population, the restoration of the great dwarven kingdom was starting to get well underway. Everyone did their part, even those who were still healing from the battle. 

“Laddie, if I have to tell you one more time to take it easy, I’m going to get Dwalin to chain you to the bed,” Balin admonished somewhat fondly. It was the fifth time that week that he had caught Thorin working when he should have been resting.

“I am well enough for paperwork,” Thorin insisted, though he couldn’t hide the slight wince when he turned to face his old friend. 

“Leaning over that table isn’t going to be helping your ribs heal, nor your shoulder,” Balin said pointedly.

Thorin scowled and his uninjured hand went to his broken shoulder automatically. Most of his other injuries had healed but because he kept pushing himself, he had managed to slow the healing process on his more severe wounds. “I’m fine,” he insisted. 

“Which is why you’re not writing with your dominant hand,” remarked the older dwarf dryly. 

Thorin threw his quill down on the table. It was true that he was having to rely more on his other hand at the moment, slowly writing shaky letters and approving requests for more equipment and more dwarves, but that did not mean he was not well enough to work. Erebor needed him after all, and he had put too much into reclaiming his kingdom to stop now.

“The kingdom isn’t going to stop just because its king needs some time to recover from injuries he gained in the war to defend said kingdom,” Balin said. “Now, get away from that desk and come join the rest of us for dinner.”

Balin always insisted that Thorin join the rest of the company for at least one meal a day. If not, he feared his king would simply work himself into an early grave. Guilt weighed heavily on his heart, Balin knew, and Thorin threw himself into ruling the kingdom to distract himself, as though it would somehow make up for the wrongs he had committed. 

Stiffly, Thorin rose and joined Balin at the door. He had been sitting at the desk for too long and he knew Balin could tell. The expected reprimand did not come however, as it had so many times before.

“You need to take more care, Thorin,”Balin said softly.

“There will be time enough for that when Erebor is prosperous once again,” Thorin replied.

He and Balin walked together to the hall where the others were waiting. It was part of the royal chambers, once used only by the royal family in the old days and now used by the Company to gather and catch up at the end of the day. At other times, they would use the huge communal halls where all the other dwarves would gather but their evening meal was just for the thirteen who took back Erebor.

_’But it should be fourteen,’_ Thorin reminded himself. There was one who would always be missing from their private gatherings, one who had come far from home to help them, who had tried his best and then been cast aside for his efforts.

Bilbo Baggins had not been seen after the Battle of Five Armies. Some said his voice had been heard, shouting the arrival of the eagles but he had not been seen since the battle truly began. Thorin and the others all dearly hoped he had returned to the Shire safely, as he had not been counted among the dead, but there had been no time for them to check. Gandalf had disappeared shortly after the battle and Thorin hoped that the wizard would return with news of the hobbit soon. If he could only just discover the fate of the halfling, then perhaps he could begin to make amends.

“Thorin.” Balin stopped him just before they reached the dining hall. “It would not do to let the others see you looking down. They will worry.”

“It is not me they should worry about,” Thorin muttered.

“Aye, we all worry about him as well, but there’s nothing we can do for him until we learn what’s become of him,” Balin said, trying to be practical. He shared the same worries about Bilbo as they all did and it was easy to see when Thorin let his mind drift to the hobbit. “We’ll decide what to do once we have news. Now, buck up. They’ll want to know their king is healing, not pushing himself to work so his recovery time is doubled.”

Thorin nodded and did his best to put thoughts of Bilbo out of his mind. There were other concerns that he would be better off devoting his time to, like the exploration of the long-abandoned corridors or Erebor and finding living spaces for the dwarves that were arriving daily. He received official updates and reports from various appointed officials, dwarves who had been part of Dain’s court and had stayed to cement an alliance between the Lonely Mountain and the Iron Hills. Thorin did not know them well and was not altogether sure if they could be trusted so he often relied upon conversations with his Company to get a more accurate sense of how things were in the mountain.

Today, it seemed as though the restoration was progressing fairly smoothly in Erebor. A cave in had been discovered in one of the lower mines but it had been cleared without incident and the tunnel reinforced. Exploration of the upper levels was also going well.

“Yes… for the most part,” Nori said. “There’s a minor hiccup in getting people to venture into the northward deep corridors but I’m sure that will all get sorted out soon enough.”

“What kind of hiccup?” asked Thorin, narrowing his eyes.

“Oh, nothing big. Just… the last team we sent down that way came haring back with tales of ghosts,” the dwarf replied, shrugging. “It’s probably nothing.”

“Ghosts.” Thorin sighed skeptically. If the mountain was haunted, he was sure he would have learned as much when they had first arrived. 

“Aye. They hear running footsteps and other noises but there’s no sign of anyone actually being down there. There shouldn’t be anyway. We haven’t been able to finish surveying it,” Bofur adds. 

“They’re not the only ones talking of ghosts,” Bombur put in. “My kitchen assistants have reported strange noises and food going missing but they can’t find any trace of anyone sneaking around.”

“And does no one think to question why the dead need food?” asked Thorin. “It is far more likely that we have a thief in our midst.”

Dwalin snorted. “If they’re blaming ghosts, I don’t think they’re going to be thinking too rationally about the whole business.” 

“I’ve already asked about if anyone has any information,” Nori said. “If there’s anything to know, I’ll find out in a few days.”

One of the first things the sneaky dwarf had accomplished after dwarves had begun arriving at Erebor had been to set up a network of informants. Dori had not been particularly happy about it, but there was little he could do about it. Thorin endorsed the venture, trusting Nori and knowing that such a network could prove useful in future.

“Let me know what you find,” Thorin said.

After that, the conversation turned to other things. The company chatted among themselves, sharing stories and news of Erebor’s restoration alike. Eventually, even that died away into yawns and sleepy silences and gradually, they bade their friends goodnight.

Fili and Kili were among the first to retire, still unused to much activity after their forced bed rest. The brothers had both been grievously injured in the battle to the point where no one had been sure they would survive. Through some miracle, both had pulled through but their road to a full recovery had been slow. Neither of them had liked being confined to bed rest for weeks, first in the healer’s tents and then in the royal suite inside Erebor. All the brothers had wanted to do was to explore the mountain and do their part in rebuilding the kingdom but so far, they had both been denied their wishes. Mostly. Thorin had offered to allow Fili to aid him dealing with the reports and dealing with advisors - the less strenuous parts of his duties as king. Fili had turned him down. Bored though he was, he was not that bored, as he informed his uncle.

“You will have to accept responsibilities like these in time, Fili,” Thorin had informed him. “You are my heir.”

“And I will,” Fili promised. “But perhaps when Kili won’t be an unholy terror over being left to recover in our rooms alone.”

“Hey!”

But that had been a couple of weeks before and Thorin had not pressed for them to do their part for Erebor yet. There was no doubt in the princes’ minds that when he did finally realise his nephews were well enough to aid him, they would be called upon for the most boring of tasks. Neither Fili nor Kili had any interest in reading dry reports about food supplies and and such things, not when there was still a mountain kingdom to explore. 

“So what do you think it is?” Kili asked, once they were safely away from potential eavesdroppers.

“Who knows?” Fili replied with a grin. “A stray orc, perhaps? Something that got in when Smaug still lived? Or maybe it really is a ghost.”

“And as princes of Erebor, surely it is out duty to ensure that there are no threats to our newly reclaimed home,” Kili continued, matching his brother’s expression.

“Of course. Any orcs should be routed as soon as possible. Any thieves should be caught. Any ghosts should be put to rest,” added Fili. “And since no one else seems willing to go down there, then obviously we should be the ones to do it. Leading by example.”

“Exactly.” Kili clapped his brother on the shoulder. “They can’t argue with that.”

“But they’ll try, so we should be up early in the morning to avoid the crowds,” Fili replied, returning the gesture. “Sleep well, brother.”

“Good night.”

* * *

Both brothers woke early the next morning. Fili was up first, prodding and poking his brother until he rose too. 

“If we don’t hurry, there will be too many people between us and the northward passages.”

Kili mumbled and rolled over, all but falling off the bed. “I’m up, I’m up. Let’s go…”

“Put your trousers on first, brother,” advised Fili, smirking.

Finally, dressed and armed, the brothers set off for the kitchen. They would need breakfast before they started their investigation and something to take with them for later, if their exploration took a while. Kili, being lighter on his feet than Fili, was the one to sneak into the kitchen to grab whatever he could. There were a few sleepy kitchen assistants around but they were busy enough not to notice or think to ask what he was doing. 

With food and water for the day, the brothers set off for the unexplored northern passages. Behind them, Erebor was waking up but ahead of them lay only darkness and quiet. 

Once, the northward passages had been home to miners and their families. The lower tunnels led to the mines where they had worked. Now, abandoned for so long, no one was sure if the tunnels were still structurally sound. The investigation teams had only been so far into the area before turning back. Chalk marks on the walls showed their progress, coded notes for the restoration teams that would be sent to make the area livable again.

“It looks like this was as far as they got,” Fili said, holding his torch up to a set of marks on the wall written in a shaky hand. “’Noises in the deep. Will go no further.’ But it doesn’t say what kind of noises.”

“We’ll just have to find out ourselves,” Kili said. “Shall we split up to cover more ground?”

Fili considered for a moment. “As long as we do not go too far into the tunnels,” he replied. “Perhaps we should investigate the dwellings on this level? I don’t think we’ll find much if we just stay on the paths.”

Kili lit his own torch from his brother’s and they split up to investigate the abandoned homes on either side of the passage. They were small homes, used mostly by single dwarves but there was evidence of families - abandoned children’s toys, a table set for a meal for two that never happened. It filled Kili with a deep sense of sadness. People had lived here once, but there was nothing he could see that would tell him who they were and what had become of them Had they escaped when the dragon had come or had they died? Kili stood in the entrance of a small home, looking around at upturned furniture and debris.

A faint noise brought Kili abruptly out of his musings. Fili was in a home across the other side of the tunnel still. Kili would have noticed if he had come closer. 

The sound came again, a quiet shuffling in another room. Kili rested his hand on the hilt of his sword and edged deeper into the room. There were doors leading off from the main room and Kili carefully pushed open each one. They creaked horrendously loudly in the quiet, hinges long rusted.

The first room turned out to be a bathroom. Seeing no sign of life, dwarf, orc or otherwise, the prince turned away. The next room was a bedroom, also empty - or so Kili thought. A soft sound caught Kili’s attention as he turned away. It sounded like… a gasp? He turned back, looking for whoever had made the noise. As he turned, there was the same quiet shuffling from the corner behind him. He turned, raising his torch. There was no mistaking it that time - a scared whimper. 

“Hello? Who’s there? I promise, if you don’t hurt me then I won’t hurt you,” he said quietly. He laid his sword down on the ground as proof. “Will you come out?”

“You won’t… hurt me..?” The voice was whisper quiet, hoarse from going far too long without use.

“I promise. Neither me nor my brother will harm you,” Kili repeated.

He watched with wide eyes and as a figure emerged from the shadows. Though he was pale and dreadfully emaciated, there was no mistaking those wide eyes and hairy feet. Kili nearly dropped his torch in shock.

“Bilbo?!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What once was lost, now is found.
> 
> And dragged back home for a bath and bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, there's nothing like positive feedback to get my motivation up.
> 
> ..Shortly before my confidence crumbles and I start wondering if I can really do this and curl into a slightly hysterical ball of panic...
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's left a comment, kudos or bookmarked this so far. I love you all!

The first thing he could remember was noise and confusion. His head hurt dreadfully and when he touched it, his fingers came away red. Scared and hurting, he had stumbled away across… across _bodies_ , he realised with horror. His stomach clenched and a wave of dizziness threatened to overwhelm him.

Things were hazy after that. He remembered people - big people, so much bigger than him - but they didn’t seem to see him. The way they ignored him made him feel even smaller and thoroughly unimportant. He had wandered into the mountain a little later somehow, seeking quiet and solitude. It was easier to be unnoticed, overlooked, when there was no one around to not notice him and make him feel insignificant.

It was in the tunnels that he realised he was wearing a ring. It looked odd on his finger, strange and unfamiliar. Nevertheless, he took it off and put it in his pocket. A short time after that - though he had no way of telling how much time had passed - he remembered a name - Bilbo Baggins. He wasn’t sure, but he thought it might be his name. There were other things too, but he was not sure if they were memories or something he had dreamed up. All he knew for certain was that he was a little person a long way from home and if he went outside again, there would be lots of people bigger than him, louder and more than capable of hurting him. 

After that, the dwarves came. He remembered that they were dwarves and he was a hobbit and the tall people had been humans and elves but names escaped him, if he had even known their names. He hid from the dwarves, who looked terrifying. Their elaborately braided hair, beards and moustaches concealed too much of their faces for him to feel comfortable. The weapons and armour worn by many did nothing to help either. He was sure that if he was caught by them, they would hurt him or kill him.

So he hid. He retreated as deep into the mountain as he dared to go, emerging only to look for food. Even then, he only took a little. Hunger became a constant feeling and after a while, he no longer noticed it. 

He had been almost content for a while. He had a routine. He would spend most of his time in the tunnels, adopting an abandoned home as his own. It hardly seemed to matter if he was in the tunnels or in the little house he had picked but it felt better to have a place to call his own. When he ventured out, he would sometimes go to the inhabited parts of the mountain. Usually, he could time it so that the dwarves were sleeping but if not, he would wear his ring, after he had discovered (remembered? He wasn’t sure if he had dreamt of being invisible or if it had been a memory) that it made him invisible. 

Then he would go to the kitchens to find food. Normally, he would take scraps, fearing discovery if he attempted to take any more. Mission accomplished, he would return to the tunnels.

But then things began to change. The dwarves began venturing into the tunnels, expanding their population into previously uninhabited places. This included the tunnels where he had made his home. Terrified, he had fled blindly into his home and shut the door. When he had emerged, the dwarves were gone and they had not come back.

Until now.

There was only the one this time, invading his home. 

_’But it’s not really mine, is it?’_ he thought. The mountain belonged to the dwarves and it only made sense that they should find him eventually and throw him out. Perhaps if he stayed quiet though… But his legs cramped in his crouched position and when he moved, he disturbed the ancient rug on the floor. 

The light, when it came, hurt his eyes. It was too bright after he had spent so long in the dark. If not for the quiet tone the dwarf used, he would have been quite happy to stay in the shadows. The dwarf did not seem as terrifying as the others, talking quietly and promising not to hurt him.

_’He could be lying…’_ The thought came unbidden and he was not sure what to do. Uncertainty warred with loneliness.

“You won’t… hurt me..?” The words sprang unbidden from his lips. He had almost forgotten how to talk after so long without conversation. 

“I promise. Neither me nor my brother will harm you,” the dwarf said, peering into the shadows. He dropped his hand from his sword and held it up in a surrendering motion. The torch nearly fell from the dwarf’s other hand when the hobbit dared to step into the light. 

“Bilbo?”

* * *

No one had seen hide nor hair of the two brothers all day. If they had still been recovering, then Dwalin would not have been concerned but they had been in much better shape lately. They had been trying to help but none of the dwarves that had come to Erebor after the battle had been willing to give them anything to do and even the Company had only given them small tasks to complete. It would not do to push the young princes too hard and they still felt very protective of them.

But by lunch time, neither of the princes had been seen. They had not even been seen going to the kitchens for food. A trip to the prince’s rooms proved that they were not there either. 

“Trouble, brother?” Balin asked, coming across Dwalin in the hallway.

“Fili and Kili are not in their rooms and they haven’t been seen all day,” the warrior dwarf replied. “I’m wondering if they haven’t gone off to find that ‘ghost’ everyone was talking about yesterday.”

“It does seem like the sort of thing they’d do, doesn’t it?” Balin agreed quietly. 

“Aye, that it does,” Dwalin sighed. 

“Round up the others and have them look around for traces of them,” Balin suggested. “I’ll keep Thorin busy. See if you can find them before he has to find out. I don’t want to imagine what he’ll do if he finds out they’ve wandered off somewhere.”

“As good a plan as any. Good luck with Thorin.” 

The brothers parted ways, Balin heading for the King’s chambers and Dwalin to find the other members of their Company.

* * *

Kili could hardly believe his eyes. Bilbo Baggins, their lost but never forgotten burglar. He reached out for him, just wanting to make sure he was real. Bilbo shrank back from his touch. He looked so scared that it pained Kili to see him look at him like that. 

“Bilbo?” he repeated, dropping his voice to a whisper. “It’s me, Kili. You know me. We’re friends.” At least, he sincerely hoped that Bilbo still thought of him as a friend. After Thorin had banished him and surviving down in the deep for so long, perhaps his feelings had changed.

“Are we..? I don’t know you,” Bilbo rasped. “I don’t know anyone.”

“Bilbo? Yes, you do. You travelled with us, remember?” Kili’s heart sank. “You’ve saved our lives over and over. Don’t you remember the trolls? Or the spiders? The elven prison? Tell me you remember the dragon!”

How anyone could forget going to face a dragon was beyond Kili, especially when he had gone into the mountain alone.

Bilbo backed away until he was pressed against the wall. “No… No, I don’t know any of that.”

“We… we’re friends, Bilbo. Or… we were friends, once,” Kili said desperately.

“I don’t remember!” snapped the hobbit. The sound echoed in the empty room. 

Kili drew back at the harsh tone. Whether he remembered him or not, the young dwarf was not sure he deserved Bilbo’s friendship any more. When Thorin had banished Bilbo for his perceived betrayal, not one of them had stood against their king, even if they felt it would have been the right thing to do. 

“Kili? Kili where are you?”

The unexpectedly loud voice made them both jump. Bilbo immediately made as if to run away, one hand going to his pocket. Kili lunged for him grabbing him by the arms, dropping his torch in his haste. He had just found their missing burglar and he was not going to let him go now.

“Calm! Be calm It’s only Fili, my brother,” Kili explained hastily. Turning his head, he called out for his sibling. “Fili! In here! Come quickly!”

Bilbo was shaking in his grasp. Kili could feel his bones beneath his clothes, his hands wrapping around the hobbit’s arms and holding him too easily. Bilbo had always been the smallest of them but there had been some weight to him once, some strength beneath his soft-looking exterior. Looking at him now in the flickering torchlight, Kili wondered if there was anything left of the hobbit he had once been.

Fili’s running footsteps seemed loud in the quiet. The dwarf burst into the room, one hand on his sword as he held his own torch aloft in the other. “Kili?!”

“Peace, Fili. There’s no danger, just a lost friend,” Kili replied. He tugged Bilbo in front of him, trying to be gentle even when the hobbit resisted. He tried not to think about how little resistance there actually was and whether it was because Bilbo was too weak to resist or simply not trying at all.

“Bilbo?” Fili sounded just as shocked as Kili had. “Is that really you?”

Bilbo nodded hesitantly. “I… I don’t remember much but I remember that name belongs to me.”

Fili and Kili shared a look, equally heartbroken over the fate of their friend. Their brave little hobbit was barely a shadow of his former self. 

“He doesn’t remember us,” Kili murmured. “Or our adventure. Nothing.”

“Have you been down here all this time?” asked Fili quietly.

“I… I don’t know how long I’ve been here. I remember being… in the light and there were so many people and they didn’t notice me…” Bilbo seemed to shrink as he spoke, curling in on himself. “And then I ended up in here and I couldn’t find my way out.”

“Well, we’ve found you now,” Kili said. “And we can’t leave you here. We’ll take you back with us.” 

Immediately, Bilbo began to struggle in earnest. “No! No, you can’t - I can’t - Don’t make me, please!”

Alarmed, Kili let go of him. He worried that he would hurt Bilbo if he kept hold of him. The hobbit was allowed no chance to escape however, for Fili took hold of him the moment he tried to bolt.

“Bilbo, please, nothing bad will happen to you if you come back with us. We’ll give you food and water, a more comfortable place to sleep, clean clothes, whatever you want,” Fili promised. “We cannot leave you here in good conscience.”

“…I survived this long…” the hobbit muttered, not meeting their gazes.

“What I don’t understand is why you still hide down here. Did you not see the dwarves that came down here earlier? Or the community in the upper levels? Why would you stay down here when you could have been living with the rest of us?” questioned Kili. “Why do you not want to come back with us now?”

“I… I can’t,” Bilbo answered in a small voice. The fear on his face was plain to see, but at the same time Fili and Kili could tell that he wanted to join them.

“Yes, you can,” Fili insisted. “We’ll keep you safe. You can stay with us for as long as you want.”

“Please, Bilbo.” Kili kneeled beside the hobbit. “You helped us. Now let us help you.”

In the end, it took rather more persuading than the brothers thought to convince Bilbo to come with them. They had no wish to force him, though they realised that they could have easily carried him back. Walking through the walkways and passages of Erebor with him was much better though. Kili and Fili shared some of the rations snatched from the kitchen earlier as they walked. Though they made no mention of it, the way Bilbo only ate small mouthfuls and hid the rest of his food in his pockets caused them no small amount of distress. They shared a look over the hobbit’s head, both recognising that he was saving it for later- a habit picked up after going far too long without knowing when he would next be able to eat. 

They encountered no problems until they began to get closer to the populated areas of Erebor. The sounds of dwarven life - voices, footsteps, the clanging of metal - echoed down the tunnels. Bilbo slowed his pace, his hand going to his pocket again. He glanced at the two princes uncertainly.

“No turning back, Bilbo,” Kili said gently. “Come along. Did we not say we would protect you?”

Bilbo nodded. His hand dropped to his side again. Kili wondered briefly why Bilbo did that every time he wanted to run away, though now was obviously not the time to ask.

“Let’s find a quieter route back to our rooms,” Fili suggested. “Once we get to the royal suites, there should be less people around anyway.”

Bilbo looked relieved at the suggestion but still stayed close, looking around warily as though he was afraid he might be attacked at any time.

Through some miracle, they made it back to the prince’s rooms without running into anyone. There were some close calls, avoided by ducking into different walkways, doorways and shadowy spots. Fili and Kili were sure to keep a hand on their burglar, just in case he decided to disappear. 

Once they were safely ensconced in their room, Kili and Fili took the time to really look at Bilbo. It had been harder to tell in the dark passageways but in the light, they could see clearly the damage done by the months of living alone. He was pale, much paler than they had ever seen him before, although it was not easy to tell beneath the dirt that covered him. Once, his clothes had been well-fitted but now they hung off his bony frame, making him look even smaller and fragile. The hobbits curls had grown until they hung around his shoulders but they were limp and filthy. 

“You need a bath,” Fili decided. 

“And luckily, we have our own,” Kili added.

“This way.” Fili guided Bilbo to one of the doors leading off from their main room.

The had a spacious bathroom, with a large pool sunk into the floor to bathe in. The water was pumped in from underground springs, heated by the forges within the mountain. Kili moved about, picking soaps and other things off shelves and making sure towels were in easy reach while Fili saw to the business of stripping Bilbo and encouraging him into the water.

Bilbo approached the water with some trepidation but once he was ankle deep, he seemed quite happy to keep going. There were steps leading into the bath, which was deep for a dwarf at the other end, never mind a hobbit. Bilbo stopped when he was about knee deep and sat on the step.

Fili and Kili tried not to stare. The hobbit that had left the Shire with them had been rounder, soft from his comfortable life and clearly unused to going without meals. The hobbit currently sitting in their bath looked like a stiff breeze would snap him in half. The princes could have counted his ribs. They could not fathom how he was still alive, looking as skeletal as he did. 

Kili was the first to snap out of their shocked daze. “Well, let’s get washed up.” He began stripping off his own clothes to join Bilbo in the bath. Fili followed his lead and together they waded into the pool.

Bilbo looked between them, confused. He had not expected them to join him. Neither Fili nor Kili seemed to notice his expression though. They sat down on either side of him, armed with washcloths and soap. Together they began washing the hobbit as though they did that kind of thing every day. Gradually, the muck came off and Bilbo looked down at his startlingly pale skin.

“Can we wash you hair, Bilbo?” Kili asked quietly. He was aware that the hobbit would be unfamiliar with the importance of hair to dwarves, as he had been at the start of their journey together but he had a sense of propriety demanded that he ask permission, although such things were usually only permitted for family and lovers. But after all they had been through together, was Bilbo not honorary family? That was how the young prince chose to justify his question.

Fili’s thoughts were much the same, so when Bilbo nodded, both of them set about soaping his hair and combing out the tangles carefully.

“This seems long enough to braid,” Fili remarked. 

Bilbo remained silent. He had his knees drawn up to his chest as he sat in the water, patiently letting the brothers do what they would. He still felt nervous around them but they never gave him the chance to act on it. Every time he wanted to run, they were there with calm words and a grip on his arm that he could not break free of. He wasn’t sure if he trusted them yet, even if they said they were friends of his but he was aware that what he was doing - what he was letting them do - required some degree of trust.

The bath was relaxing though. Perhaps a little too relaxing. Before he was aware of it, Bilbo found himself falling asleep. His eyes drifted shut and he slumped sideways into Kili.

“Bilbo?”

“He’s asleep,” Fili whispered. “Hold him steady while I finish his hair.”

The older dwarf worked quickly to untangle Bilbo’s hair and clean it of all the accumulated filth. He was nearly done when he noticed the scar, hidden beneath the hobbit’s curls.

“I think I found the source of his memory loss.” Fili traced the wound with gentle fingers. 

Kili’s response was to hold the thin frame tighter, burying his face into Bilbo’s neck.

Shortly after discovering the scar, Fili announced he was done. He fetched towels for all three of them while Kili carried Bilbo out of the bath. Somehow, drying the hobbit did not wake him up and nor did he wake when they wrapped him in blankets and set him in Fili’s bed in the room next door. 

After taking care of their burglar, the brothers redressed quietly and set out clean clothes for Bilbo. As Kili was the smaller of the two, he donated a shirt and pair of trousers for the hobbit. Bilbo’s own clothes were left in a laundry basket for a servant to take care of, after having the pockets emptied. Fili set the contents - a few scraps of food and a curious gold ring - in a dish on the bedside table so that Bilbo cold find them when he awoke. 

“It should be just about time for our evening meal,” Fili murmured, not wanting to wake Bilbo. “We should go. We can bring back something for hi to eat when he wakes.”

“I don’t want to leave him alone,” Kili confided. “What if he wakes up without us here and decides to leave?”

Fili shook his head. “We’ll have to take that chance. We can’t miss the meal tonight, not without a good reason.”

Kili cast one last glance at Bilbo. “Perhaps if we’re quick, he’ll still be sleeping when we return.”

“Let’s hope so. Come on, we’ll be late if we don’t go now.”

The brothers hurried through the halls to the dining hall, hoping that they were not too late. Unfortunately, it seemed as though their hopes were in vain. Everyone else had already arrived, turning to face them when they entered. The conversation halted. Fili and Kili glanced at each other, then around at the company. Judging by the look on their uncle’s face, they were in trouble.

“So, would either of you like to tell me where you’ve been all day?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: In the initial notes/scraps/ideas for this chapter, Fili and Kili left Bilbo to bathe himself. It wasn't until I came to write the scene that Kili decided 'NOPE' and started stripping. Then it just refused to be written any other way. ^^; They're reather protective of their little burglar. 
> 
> Next chapter is in the works! I'm aiming to have it done by the weekend, though I may have to take tomorrow off writing. It's my brother's birthday so there may be family things planned. All I know for sure is that there will be key lime pie... yum~
> 
> Feedback of all kinds is loved.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of secrets and arguments and trust.
> 
> Or: How to keep a secret you really want to tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many apologies for the lateness! This is five days later than I planned but I struggled quite a bit with the ending of this. It was supposed to go one way and instead went another and... well. Certain events have been delayed until the next chapter. This thing is taking on a life of it's own.
> 
> Also, thanks once again to all who've commented - I'm going to try to get around to individual responses but I'm extremely failtastic at keeping up with such things. Also, thanks to everyone who's bookmarked or given kudos.

There was no way they would be able to keep Bilbo a secret from their Company forever. In fact, they didn’t even want to. Their burglar had been found. He was alive and close by. The others would be glad to know he was alive and safe at last. Yet at the same time, the two princes were hesitant to reveal their secret. Perhaps Thorin did regret his actions towards Bilbo but what of the banishment? He had not spoken of it since the battle, either to ensure it was enforced or waived in the event of the hobbit’s return. Not to mention how the others might react. Bilbo had been flustered enough when they had barged into his hobbit hole. How would he fare if they all burst in on him in his current state?

“Well?” Thorin snapped. “Where have you been?”

Fili and Kili shared a look and simultaneously decided to keep their secret a little longer. 

“Oh, just around,” Fili replied with an easy smile. He slid into his seat at the table and reached for a dish of roast ham. “Why? Whatever is the matter?” Kili sat beside him, trying to look innocent.

“You know what the matter is,” Thorin growled. “Neither of you have been seen all day. There was nothing to say where you went or what you were doing and now you both stroll in here _late_ and with no explanation?”

“We just had a little walk around the kingdom,” Kili replied. “Surely that isn’t so bad, is it?” He took the roast ham from Fili and piled some on his own plate.

“You mean you ventured into the abandoned passages that have yet to be investigated and examined,” Dwalin replied.

“It was perfectly safe,” Kili replied, taking another dish from Fili. The brothers had developed a habit where Fili would help himself to various dishes first and then pass the food on to Kili. 

Thorin thumped the table, making the dishes and cups rattle. The other members of the company watched in wary silence.

“That is _not the point!_ ” roared the king. “You are princes of Erebor! Perhaps that meant nothing to you before but it means something now. You cannot simply wander off into potentially dangerous situations!”

“So we can join a quest to face a dragon but we can’t explore the home we gained because of that quest?” Kili muttered, feeling rather sullen. So they had gone off by themselves for a while. There was no need to make such a big fuss. If this kept up, they would not be able to keep Bilbo a secret at all. 

Thorin looked furious. Under the table, Fili put a warning hand on Kili’s forearm.

“Now, laddie, we know the quest was dangerous. There wasn’t a one of us who wasn’t willing to die to see it succeed and it’s only luck that all of us survived. You should know that better than anyone. You both nearly died in battle, defending your uncle and he nor any of the others want to see you hurt again,” the old dwarf said calmly. “So if you’re going to go running off again, let us know.”

Fili and Kili bowed their heads, feeling thoroughly reprimanded. They had not considered how the others would feel if something had happened to them. 

“Aye, and isn’t your mother coming here?” Bofur chimed in. “What would she say if you two managed to hurt yourselves again so soon after you recovered from the battle?”

There was something neither prince had thought about. Both of them paled considerably. Even Thorin seemed to have forgotten his sister was on her way, for he suddenly looked rather worried. Dis was travelling with a large group from Ered Luin, but had been held up due to a bout of bad weather, among other things. She had kept in contact via the ravens though, and her last letter said that the roads were clear. It was expected that she and the caravan of dwarves accompanying her would arrive soon.

“That is… certainly something to keep in mind,” Fili replied. “You’ve made your point, all of you. We’ll be more responsible in future.”

“Well, that’s settled then,” Balin smiled.

Dwalin nodded, leaning on his elbows. “So now you might as well tell us what you found in the northward corridors, hm?”

Fili, who had just begun to eat, choked on his food. 

“Who said we went north?” Kili asked, entirely too innocently.

Nori shook his head. “I wouldn’t bother denying it, if I was you. There have been dwarves in most other parts of the mountain looking for traces of you and none of them found anything.”

Fili and Kili looked at each other and shrugged.

“Alright, fine. We went to the north corridors - but we didn’t go any further than the inspection teams had already gone,” Fili admitted. “We watched out for their marks and only went as far as the last one, which said they wouldn’t go any further.”

Thorin’s mouth twisted in disapproval. “I still feel you should not have gone. Those dwarves stopped their work for a reason.”

“Yes,” Kili said. “Because they heard noises and were too afraid to continue. No one else wanted to go down there, did they?”

“We would have found someone or we would have gone ourselves,” Dwalin said. “There was no need for you to risk yourselves.”

Kili waved him off. “Yes, yes, we’ve covered that already.” 

Dwalin glared at the cheeky dismissal but said nothing.

“So tell us - did you find anything of note?” asked Thorin.

The brothers glanced at each other, confirming in that moment that they were both intending to keep Bilbo a secret just a little longer. 

“Well, there aren’t any orcs down there,” Fili replied. “And no ghosts either.”

“There’s really nothing to worry about at all down there,” Kili added. “Just empty walkways and empty homes.”

The king leaned over the table toward them. “If I find out you’re keeping something from me…” He trailed off warningly. 

“You know what? I don’t think I’m very hungry after all.” Kili stood up. “Let’s go, Fili…” He turned and walked to the door.

“Kili, I haven’t finished…” Fili stood up, following his brother but he took his plate with him. “Wait, Kili!”

“Fili! Kili!” Thorin shot to his feet, knocking his chair over in the process. “This is not over.”

“Yes, it is,” Kili snapped.

“There was a problem in our kingdom. We investigated it when there was no one else brave enough to do it. We did what we felt was the best course of action. We encountered no danger and that should be enough to lay the rumours to rest,” added Fili. “Now we’re tired. We’ve only just healed from our wounds and we’re not yet as fit as we were.”

Guilt flashed across Thorin’s face and he dropped his gaze for a moment. When he looked up again, the guilt was gone but he did not look so stern. “I know you are keeping something from me,” he said in a softer tone.

“Uncle, we trusted you enough to follow you on a quest with no guarantee of success,” Kili said. “Will you not trust us now?”

Silence reigned. The dwarves gathered around the table looked between Thorin and his nephews with varying degrees of anxiety. They felt as though this argument was something private, that they should not have been witness to and yet none of them dared to move. 

After what felt like an age, Thorin nodded. “Very well. Go.”

Fili and Kili nodded once, then left the room. As soon as the door shut behind them, the dwarves burst into a cacophony of chatter. They tried to listen but as everyone was trying to talk over everyone else, they could not make out what they were saying.

“Well, that could have gone better,” Kili murmured. “I don’t think we were subtle enough.”

Fili gave him a carefully blank look. “You don’t say…” he replied sarcastically.

“I hope Bilbo appreciates this,” muttered Kili. “I don’t like arguing with Uncle.”

“Nor me,” Fili replied. He nudged his brother’s arm. “Come, let’s see if he’s awakened yet. I do not want to have borrowed this plate for nothing.”

* * *

Thorin picked his chair up and sat back down, the only silent person in the room. He bowed his head and let the talking continue while he gathered his thoughts. After a few minutes, the noise had still not died down. 

“That’s _enough!_ ”

Silence fell. He looked around at the faces of his friends and family - whether by blood or by the bonds they had forged during their journey - and drew himself up straight in his seat.

“I know my nephews are keeping something from me. You all saw the way they were looking at each other. But they were right - I must trust them to come to me. I do not believe they would do anything that would endanger any of us or our home. If you try to discover their secret, then do it for yourselves and not for me. I will have no part of it.”

His gaze travelled across each and every dwarf in front of him, lingering for just a second longer on Nori. As Spy-master, he knew Nori would be more likely to attempt to uncover what Fili and Kili were keeping from him but he wished for an end to their argument more than he desired the truth. They would come to him in time, he was sure. 

“Is this understood?”

A chorus of agreements came from the assembled dwarves. Thorin nodded in approval.

“Very well, my friends. Now I believe I shall retire for the night. Hopefully tomorrow will be less eventful.” Thorin was careful not to knock his chair over this time and he made his way to the door.

Balin caught up with him in the corridor. “You could have handled them better,” he remarked. 

Thorin shrugged. “Probably. I’m afraid I let my temper get the better of me,” he replied. The ‘again’ went unspoken.

“I’ll check on them later,” Balin said. “Just to make sure they’re not in any kind of trouble, you understand. I’ll let them have their secrets as long as they need them.”

Thorin felt the tight feeling in his stomach dissipate. Knowing that Balin was also looking out for his nephews made him feel better. Of course, he knew all the others would also look out for Fili and Kili - they would always be there for each other in times of need - but hearing the older dwarf say as much eased Thorin’s worry. It had barely eased since he had learned that his nephews had disappeared earlier that evening. Balin and Dwalin had done their best to keep him from fretting over the news but they had not been able to keep it from him after all. When both of them had failed to show up promptly for dinner, he had asked for their whereabouts. After none of his companions had been able to give him a proper answer, the truth had come out.

“Thank you, my friend. It means a lot to me to hear you say that.” They stopped outside the door to Thorin’s chambers. 

Balin patted him on the shoulder. “You know we’re just as protective of those two as you are. Now, get some rest. If I find you’ve been working through the night again, I’m going to have Bombur start lacing your meals with a sleeping draught.”

Thorin nodded, smiling faintly though he would not put it past Balin to try something like that if he truly felt he had to. “If you insist. I will see you in the morning. Goodnight, Balin.”

“Goodnight, laddie.”

* * *

Bilbo was warm and comfortable for what felt like the first time since … well, since his first awful awakening. The bed in the abandoned home had been rickety and rotted so he had simply gathered old blankets and slept on the stone floor. If he had felt cold and particularly daring, he had crept closer to where the great forges were once again lit but he did not dare stay long for fear of discovery. There was no fear now though. He was wrapped in blankets and tucked into an unfamiliar bed but there was no anxious, fluttery feeling in his stomach and no desire whatsoever to move. For one long, luxurious moment he revelled in the absolute safety he felt.

It wouldn’t last, of course. Bilbo didn’t believe for one second that it would but that did not mean he couldn’t enjoy it while it did.

It was a few minutes before he realised he was still naked from his bath. Blushing though there was no one to see, the hobbit sat up and spied a set of clothes on a chair. It was clear that they had been left for him though they were not his. Perhaps one of the brothers’ clothes, then? They would be big on him but better than nothing. Timidly, Bilbo slid out of bed and padded over to try them on.

As he suspected, the dark blue tunic hung off his small frame rather like a dress, albeit a short dress. The trousers required a belt but the belt provided did not tighten quite enough to keep them on comfortably. Idly, he fingered the hem of one sleeve. The stitching was well done and the clothes were obviously of some quality. They were far better than his own clothes had been, even before the dirt and stains.

The sound of voices from the outer room alerted Bilbo to Fili and Kili’s return. They spoke quietly enough that he could not hear them through the door but it mattered little for a moment later Kili stuck his head through the door. He grinned when he saw Bilbo awake and out of bed.

“Ah, good! You’re up! We brought you something to eat, if you’re feeling up to it,” the dwarf said cheerfully.

Bilbo nodded, doing his best to ignore the instinctive knot of fear that had formed in his gut. Fili and Kili were his friends. He did not have to be afraid of them. 

Perhaps if he told himself often enough, he would start to truly believe it. It was not easy to move past the fear of dwarves he had had down in the dark for so long. 

In the outer room, Fili had set a plate of food on a little table in front of the fire. He grinned when he saw Bilbo timidly enter the room, ushered forward by Kili.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked.

The hobbit nodded again, trying to swallow down the growing fear he had. There was no need for it, he reminded himself fiercely. 

It seemed Fili and Kili were aware of his feelings though, because once he was sat in the comfortable chair, warming himself by the fire as he ate, they both backed off a little way. There was no way he could make it to the door before they caught him (and why did that thought have him automatically reaching for his ring _which he didn’t have_ , he suddenly realised. _Where was it, he needed it, needed it-_ )

“Be sure not to eat too quickly or too much,” Kili said suddenly, cutting off Bilbo’s train of thought. “You haven’t eaten properly for so long that it’ll make you sick if you gorge yourself now.”

“And that won’t be a pleasant experience for anyone,” Fili added. “Trust us, we know what we’re talking about.”

The tone was light-hearted and friendly but there was a flash of pain in the elder dwarf’s expression. Kili reached over the gap between their chairs to nudge him, a quick brush of his hand against Fili’s forearm. Bilbo watched them curiously. Both of them were obviously lacking for nothing and he had trouble trying to imagine them starving as he had been. If he had felt bolder, perhaps he would have asked but it felt like prying. Surely something like that must have been private?

Apparently, Fili and Kili did not feel that way. Fili took the other chair by the fire, while Kili pulled a chair over from the desk on the other side of the room. Once settled, they seemed quite happy to share their story.

“When we were still young, there was a harsh winter in the Blue Mountains, where we lived,” Kili began. “Well, winters were never easy but this one was… worse. And while we did have food, there was never enough to fill us up.”

“Especially as we were two growing dwarflings,” Fili added. “We don’t remember it very well, actually but I remember being aware that we were lucky to make it through that winter.”

“And then spring came, and the snow melted and suddenly there was food!” Kili grinned.

“And this moron went and tried to eat far too much,” Fili added. His somber mood seemed to slip away but there was still a sadness lurking behind his expression. “He threw most of it up later. I remember holding his hair back the whole time.”

“And lecturing me about how ‘Mum told you not to eat so much, Kee. You should’ve listened. Why didn’t you listen? You’ve made yourself sick just like she said you would!’” Kili replied, making his voice high and child-like. 

Fili chuckled. “We recovered quick enough though and Kili learned many lessons that day.”

“The most important being: if I’m going to throw up, don’t do it on Mum’s favourite rug,” the younger dwarf said with a wink.

Despite the rather serious nature of their tale and then hardships of their past, Bilbo found himself huffing with silent laughter at their antics and didn’t realise that he had forgotten to be scared or nervous around them as they talked. Their past may have been hard at times but they had not let it keep them down, though he wondered how they had gone from starving children to their current, rather luxurious situation.

A knock at the door prevented him from even considering asking. He froze up, staring at the door in a panic. He had forgotten that there were others in the mountain, others who might come to these rooms looking for the two brothers. 

“Kili, keep Bilbo out of sight. I’ll see who it is,” Fili murmured, almost silently.

Kili nodded once, then easily swept the terrified hobbit back into the bedroom. Bilbo kept his eyes on the door until Kili broke his line of sight.

“Hey, Bilbo, don’t panic, alright?” the young dwarf whispered. “Fili will handle this.”

Bilbo said nothing and didn’t realise until later that he was clinging to Kili’s sleeves.

Fili waited only until Kili had shut the bedroom door before going to see their visitor. 

“Balin,” he greeted. “Is something the matter?” He kept his tone light, but leaned in the doorway to prevent the older dwarf from entering. 

Balin eyed his curiously. “I was going to ask you the same thing. Not that I’m enquiring after your secret,” he added to pacify the young prince. “Thorin isn’t going to pry, and he wants nothing to do with anyone else’s attempts. But that doesn’t stop us from worrying, you understand.”

“He really said that?” asked Fili.

Balin nodded with a small smile. “Yes, laddie. He wants you to trust him but he understands that for that to happen, perhaps he needs to show a little trust in you first.”

“He must really want to know.” Fili smirked, glancing briefly back inside the room. Bilbo and Kili were out of sight, but the bedroom door was slightly ajar. That meant Kili must have been trying to listen. “So, if you’re not here to learn our secret…”

“I’m just making sure you’re not in any kind of trouble, Master Fili. Thorin doesn’t believe you’d bring any kind of danger to Erebor but I know that sometimes things just happen without anyone ever intending for them,” Balin explained.

Fili shook his head. “There’s not need to worry about danger, Balin. I promise you, Kili and I have not brought danger out of the deeps with us.”

Balin gave him a searching look. “But you did bring something back.”

“In time, Balin. In time, you will know but not yet. When… when we’re ready,” Fili replied, lowering his voice. He and Kili had no intention of keeping Bilbo a secret forever but they did not have to let the hobbit know that just yet, not when he was so obviously terrified of meeting anyone else right now. It would be far better to give him time to get used to their presence before they reintroduced him to the Company. 

Balin nodded, seeing Fili’s sincerity. “Aye, alright. Goodnight, Fili.”

“Goodnight, Balin,” replied the young dwarf. He watched Balin walk down the hallway before closing and locking the door. 

He found Kili holding Bilbo on his bed. The hobbit was shaking silently, his face buried in Kili’s chest. As terrible as it felt knowing that Bilbo was terrified of Balin, who had never done him any harm, the sight did give Fili some hope. If Bilbo could learn to trust him and Kili again in such a short time after all those months down in the dark, then perhaps he could learn to trust the others again just as quickly.

“That was Balin,” he said, mostly for the benefit of the hobbit. He climbed up on the bed and Kili readily made room for him to join the hug. 

“Balin’s a good friend,” Kili said into Bilbo’s ear.

“He was your friend too, before you lost your memory,” Fili said. “He wouldn’t harm you any more than we would. There’s no need to be scared.”

“Maybe you should meet him sometime,” Kili said. “When you’re ready, of course. I’m sure he would like that.”

Bilbo pulled away from their grasp, giving them suspicious looks. “I’m not sure…”

Fili did his best to look reassuring. “You were friends with all thirteen of our company once, and they’ve been worried about you. It wouldn’t be fair of us to keep you to ourselves but we don’t want to force you into doing anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

Bilbo still looked uncertain. He had no memory of the dwarves and no reason to trust any of them except for Fili and Kili so far.

“How about we introduce them one at a time?” Kili suggested. “And we’ll be there too, if you want.”

Bilbo nodded. “Yes. I- I’ll do it if you’re there.”

Fili and Kili smiled happily at him. They already had a dwarf in mind. All they had to do was get him up to their rooms tomorrow, before Bilbo had a chance to chance his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Kili and Fili are still resisting all my attempts to control this story! This was meant to go in completely the opposite direction and... well. Looks like Thorin is going to have to wait a little while yet to learn about their little hobbit.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my birthday! So I've decided to celebrate by posting a new chapter. Because why not.
> 
> (This took me far too long, I'm sorry.)
> 
> Thanks to all who have left kudos, comments and bookmarked it. Sorry I haven't really responded to comments but I keep freaking out. I read everything though, and I love you all.

Nori knew that Thorin would disapprove of his intentions, but he had an insatiable curiosity that the princes had piqued. Clearly something important had happened in those tunnels and the sneaky dwarf had a mind to find out what it was. Fili and Kili were young and reckless, although perhaps less so now than they once were. Still, that did not prevent them from doing stupid things. Their solo trip into the northward tunnels proved that well enough. 

All of their interactions the night before had told Nori that they were hiding something big from Thorin and the rest of the company. It couldn’t be something that posed an immediate threat or they would have dealt with it and bragged about it. 

So if they had not found a threat, then what had they found? It was a mystery and Nori intended to get to the bottom of it.

* * *

Fili and Kili spent much of the next few days in their rooms with Bilbo. After so long alone, he did not like to be left by himself for too long and even then, he did not want any others but Fili and Kili. Every time there was a knock at the door, he cringed. If anyone came in or requested to come in, he would find a place and hide himself away before Fili or Kili could stop him. Even though they had planned to let the other members of their Company meet Bilbo and he had agreed, the hobbit still shied away when they brought it up. No amount of cajoling could persuade him to remain seated when another dwarf came to their chambers.

After three days had passed in this manner, with them only leaving their rooms to attend the Company dinners, Fili and Kili knew they would have to take matters into their own hands. The dinners had once been fun but since their argument with Thorin and their continued silence regarding their secret hobbit, the meal had become rather strained. No one had yet made any overt attempts to wrangle their secret out of them but there was a constant sense of curiosity and anticipation from their friends. Thorin especially seemed expectant and with each day that they did not tell him, he seemed more and more disappointed that they did not trust him.

They rose early on the morning of the fourth day, rousing Bilbo to eat breakfast with them as had become their custom. The meal was sent to their rooms and they would split it with the hobbit. He was still far too thin but he had regained a little energy that he had not seemed to have before. Over breakfast, the princes announced that they had business to attend to elsewhere in the mountain.

“Bilbo, we’re going to have to leave you for a little while this morning,” Kili said gently. “Will you be alright on your own?”

Bilbo’s gaze flicked nervously to the door and then back to Kili. “I…” he trailed off nervously, then squared his shoulders. “I’ll manage,” he said a bit more firmly, a hint of his former self showing through.

Kili smiled brightly. There was something left of their burglar after all. He had hoped that would be the case but to actually witness it filled him with happiness.

“We can lock the door when we go, if it would make you feel safer,” offered Fili, who had seen the way Bilbo had looked toward the door. He wondered if the hobbit meant to leave while they were gone or if he feared someone might enter and find him. 

“No, no! I- I’m sure I’ll be fine,” replied Bilbo hastily. He pushed away his breakfast plate, still containing some leftovers.

Fili was still uncertain but nodded all the same. “If you’re sure. We’ll try to be back quickly, but if we’re not seen out and about today then we’ll get into bother. We have duties to attend to, you see, and while we can neglect them a little, it isn’t good to abandon them completely.”

Bilbo nodded, looking downcast. He had not meant to be a burden on them or to keep them from doing other things. “Maybe I’ll just… stay in the bedroom.” He fidgeted with the cuff of his borrow tunic. “I’m sorry…”

“Hey, you’ve got absolutely nothing to be sorry for,” Kili told him. “Really. We’re your friends, Bilbo and friends are there for each other when they need it most.”

Bilbo nodded, still looking miserable. 

“He’s right,” Fili said. “We’re helping you because we want to, because you’re a friend in need. If anyone else knew what we were doing in here, they would feel the same way.”

The hobbit looked doubtful but if they stayed to reassure him much longer, then Fili and Kili worried that they wouldn’t make it out of their rooms at all.

“It’s time to go, Kili,” Fili said, standing up. “Come, before Uncle sends someone looking for us.”

“Stay out of trouble,” Kili said, patting Bilbo on the shoulder. “We’ll be back before you know it.” He game Bilbo one last cheerful grin and followed his brother out of their chambers. He tried not to think of how small and fragile Bilbo looked in his borrowed tunic or about how alone he had looked, still sitting in his chair by the fire.

The princes hesitated outside the door. Fili turned the key over and over in his hands.

“What if he runs?” he whispered to Kili.

“We’ll find him again,” Kili reassured him confidently. “Besides, he’s been down there alone for so long. Do you really think he wants to go back?”

“If he’s scared of everyone…” Fili trailed off uncomfortably. “I don’t want to lose him again, Kili.”

“Me neither. But it would be wrong to lock him in. He’s our friend, not a prisoner,” Kili reminded him. 

That seemed to do the trick. Fili pocketed the key, though he still had lingering doubts. “You’re right. Let’s go, then.” 

The brothers intended to begin reintroducing Bilbo to his former friends as soon as possible, lest he have a change of heart. Choosing the first of their friends to bring back was easy enough, but Bilbo was so skittish that they really had no idea how the first meeting was going to go. But if they didn’t do something, then Bilbo would remain a secret recluse in their rooms indefinitely if he had his way. He was very good at disappearing suddenly. Fili and Kili had no idea where he went, as he would reappear just as suddenly once the coast was clear. This meant they would have to take him by surprise. 

In all likelihood, it was not going to go well but they had to try.

With this thought in mind, the two princes made their way to the once great library of Erebor. Since there had been no gold or other treasures stored in the library, Smaug had had little interest in the library but that did not meant that there wasn’t a lot of work to do. The books and scrolls had been damaged over time, falling apart due to age and neglect. Ori had taken it upon himself to restore what he could, along with a few others who had come to the mountain later. Though most other dwarves would rather concentrate on making their kingdom safe to live in again, Ori had seen the importance of preserving their past records, histories and stories. 

The young scribe was easy enough to find among the bookshelves. He sat at a long table, delicately rearranging several sheets of paper so they could be further examined by one of the older scribes and either rebound or copied. Being the quiet, more reserved young dwarf that he was, the princes felt he was the least likely to terrify Bilbo into running away. 

“Ori! Just the dwarf we were looking for!” Kili greeted cheerfully. He settled in a chair beside the young scribe while Fili sat on the other side.

“We were wondering if you would mind doing something for us,” the elder prince said.

“Nothing dangerous,” added Kili.

Ori looked from one to the other. “Coming from you, that isn’t really reassuring.”

Kili put his hand over his heart dramatically. “That hurts, Ori. What did we ever do to make you doubt us so?”

Ori opened his mouth to reply, only to have another voice cut across him.

“I hope you two aren’t planning to involve my brother in any sort of trouble.”

All three spun to see Dori standing behind them. Kili tried his best to look innocent. Fili knew better and tried for a reassuring smile.

“We wouldn’t dream of it, Dori.”

The older dwarf did not look convinced. “You’ll have to excuse me if I find that hard to believe. Ori, you can tell them to go away if they’re trying to cause trouble.”

Kili pouted. “I really want to know what we’ve done to deserve such terrible treatment.”

“Give me a day and I’ll write you a list,” muttered Ori. “Is it very important? I have work to do.”

“Of course it is,” Kili replied instantly.

“The most important thing we’ve ever asked of you,” Fili added. He looked to Dori. “I promise we’re not going to put him in danger. We’re not going off exploring again or anything. We just have something we need him to do for us.”

Dori looked form one prince to the other. “Very well. I’d better get him back in one piece, you hear me?”

“We promise,” both Fili and Kili said in unison.

“I haven’t even agreed to anything yet,” protested Ori. 

Kili put an arm around his shoulders, pulling him away from the table. “Trust us, Ori, you’ll be glad we came to you.”

Fili embraced him in a similar fashion from the other side. “Your books and scrolls can wait. This is of even greater importance.”

The two dwarves guided Ori away. Dori watched them go suspiciously. He had an inkling that perhaps this had something to do with the northward tunnels and the increasingly awkward dinners but he wouldn’t meddle. If they were letting Ori in on their big secret, there was a chance that they were preparing to tell them all soon anyway.

Ori shook the two dwarves off once they were out of the library. He wasn’t about to run away from his friends, though he only relaxed fully once he realised they were heading to the royal suites instead of the unexplored passages. As they walked, Fili and Kili chatted to him amicably, not giving away anything of their purpose. Only when they were away from the crowds did they stop and Ori realised that the chatter had been a cover. If they looked like three friends catching up, then no one would suspect them of anything. 

They came to a stop outside the prince’s chambers. Fili gestured to Kili, who nodded once and entered the rooms. Fili kept his hand on Ori’s arm, preventing him from entering until Kili poked his head out into the corridor.

“Come on, quietly now,” he whispered.

Kili disappeared back into the room. Confused, Ori looked to Fili for answers but there were none forthcoming. They followed Kili as quietly as they were able and Fili locked the door behind them.

“What happens in this room doesn’t leave it, understand?”

Ori nodded, suddenly nervous. Fili smiled faintly and patted him on the shoulder. 

Kili tiptoed to Fili’s room, though with the door locked there was no real need to sneak any more. Bilbo was not going anywhere. “Hello, we’re back.”

Bilbo stirred on the bed. He had been lightly dozing since they had left. Without fear and hunger motivating him to move and keep moving as it had in the lower passages, he had found he no longer had much energy. It was far nicer to simply relax in the safety of Fili and Kili’s rooms. He greeted Kili with a shy smile, though it quickly faded at the serious expression on the dwarf’s face.

“Bilbo, do you remember when you agreed to meet the other members of our company?” Kili asked quietly.

Bilbo paled, nodding. He clutched at the bedsheets anxiously. “I- I’m not ready!” he breathed. 

Kili crossed the room and took his hands. “It’s alright. No one here will harm you. Me and Fili are here, like we promised. Come on, let’s go.” He lifted the hobbit easily off the bed and set him down on his feet.

Bilbo struggled weakly. “No! No, I’m not- I can’t do this!”

Steeling himself against Bilbo’s pleading, Kili guided him to the door. “You’ll thank us for this later, Bilbo.”

The hobbit shook his head. “No, no, Kili _please!_ ”

But it was too late. He was out of the bedroom, with no way back. His hand went to his pocket for his ring but he froze at the stunned gasp.

“ _Mister Baggins?!_ ”

Bilbo froze. He turned his wide-eyed gaze to the young dwarf Fili and Kili had brought back. Kili’s hands were warm and steady on his shoulder’s. Holding him in place, he thought frantically. Not letting him go and he _had to go, had to get out and just go go go_. He didn’t realise he was shaking, didn’t see the distraught expression on the new dwarf’s face or the worried looks Fili and Kili were exchanging.

“Bilbo! Bilbo, please, calm down. You know we wouldn’t bring anyone here who we didn’t trust not to hurt you,” Kili said “Bilbo, listen to me, please!”

Gradually, Bilbo became aware that Kili was talking to him. His hands had a death grip on the dwarf’s sleeves. Fili’s voice filtered through the panic too.

“He doesn’t remember us or our journey together. He’s been hiding in the northward passages, alone in the dark ever since the battle, too scared to come out,” explained Fili quietly. “He was scared of us too, but we sort of… forced him to come back with us. We want to let everyone know he’s alright but then everyone will want to see him and we didn’t want to overwhelm him so… we thought maybe if we brought everyone here one at a time or something, let him get used to everyone again, then he won’t be so…” Fili trailed off, looking over at Bilbo.

Bilbo looked back, beginning to calm down. Kili and Fili were only doing as they had agreed after all. He had said he would meet with the others, as long as they were present. But he hadn’t been ready. He still wasn’t. His fingers began to cramp from the white-knuckled grip he had on Kili’s tunic. Kili made no move to detach him, rubbing slow circles on his back to calm him down.

“Bilbo, this is Ori. He’s one of your friends too,” he said. He beckoned Ori forward.

Confused and anxious, the scribe hesitantly stepped forward. “Hello, Mister Baggins. I’m sorry I scared you.”

Bilbo hesitated a moment longer before slowly releasing his grip. He flexed his fingers, working out the ache. Ori seemed nice enough. He wasn’t as scary as any of the others that had come down the corridors where he had lived. There was something gentle about him, and Fili and Kili trusted him. That was another point in his favour. He offered Ori a faint smile. “Apology accepted,” he murmured, still feeling shy.

Ori breathed a sigh of relief, as did Fili and Kili. Bilbo was no longer so frightened, even if he did look rather like a startled deer at the moment. One false move and he would no doubt flee for the safety of the bedroom. To prevent this, Kili placed himself between the hobbit and the door.

“We owe you an apology as well, Bilbo,” Fili said. “We should have warned you we were bringing Ori back with us but we were afraid you would hide yourself away.”

“Do you forgive us, Bilbo?” asked Kili, giving the hobbit a wide-eyed, pleading look. 

Unable to say no in the face of such apologetic expressions, Bilbo nodded. “I forgive you. Just… please don’t do it again, all right?” He let out a startled gasp as Kili pulled him into a sudden hug.

“We’ll warn you next time, I promise,” the younger prince promised.

Still somewhat hesitant, Bilbo returned his embrace.

Ori watched with wide eyes. “He’s so thin!” he whispered to Fili.

“He was starving when we found him,” the prince whispered back. “He’s doing better now though.”

They turned back to watch Kili fuss over Bilbo. The hobbit drew back from the attention, obviously uncomfortable. He might have accepted Ori’s apology but it was clear that he still wasn’t ready for so many in the same room.

“Perhaps there’s something in the library that might help,” Ori suggested shyly. “I can have a look for any medical texts that might help Bilbo.”

“That would be great, Ori!” Kili replied cheerfully.

Ori grinned and headed for the door. “I’ll start now, then. I’d best be getting back to work anyway, before Dori thinks you’re getting me into trouble or something.”

“Again with these unfounded beliefs that we’re nothing but troublemakers!” Kili pouted. “There’s more to us than that!”

Fili turned to Bilbo, grasping his shoulders. “If anyone tries to convince you that we’re less than angelic, don’t believe them!” he said, staring into Bilbo’s wide eyes.

Ori laughed, watching their antics. “Fili, he’s lost his memory, not his wits.”

The prince turned to him, releasing Bilbo. “I think I miss the days when you wouldn’t talk back to us.”

His brother laughed. “No, he’s more fun now, I think.” He crossed the room to stand beside Ori. “Come, I’ll escort you back to the library before Dori decides to break our door down.”

Ori let the younger prince guide him from the room. He left with promises to visit the next day and set off for the library.

They were barely halfway down the corridor when Nori stepped out of the shadows.

“I do hope you haven’t been getting my brother in trouble,” he said to Kili with false sweetness.

“Of course he hasn’t,” Ori protested.

“And we might well ask what you’re doing here,” Kili added, glaring suspiciously. Thorin may have said that he didn’t want anything to do with attempts to pry into their business but that didn’t mean Nori would be put off.

Nori looked from Kili to Ori, taking in their defensive expressions. Clearly hiding something and being not much good at it. Ori had never been very good at hiding things from him and Kili was too easy to read sometimes. 

“Perhaps I was simply curious as to what you were doing with Ori,” the spymaster told Kili.

“Or you were trying to find out their secret when Thorin said not to - and glared extra hard at you when he said it,” Ori replied. He hoped he wasn’t going to get into trouble with his brothers over this. He didn’t want to start fighting with them, like Fili and Kili had with Thorin. 

“Ori-” Nori began, but was cut off by his younger brother.

“I’m going back to the library now. Why don’t you walk with me?” the scribe suggested. 

“I’ll leave you in your brother’s capable hands then,” Kili said, glad of a chance to retreat. If Nori was taking Ori back to the library, then he would not be prowling around the corridor outside their chambers.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Kili,” Ori said, tugging Nori away.

Kili waved, then jogged back to his brother and Bilbo.

* * *

Few things made Thorin as happy as persuading Balin that he was fit enough for a walk around Erebor. He could only take so much paperwork and bed rest before he needed a change of pace. He had his arguments lined up if his old friend and adviser tried to convince him to rest.

“It will be good for the people to see their king is recovering,” he said, stubbornly brushing past the older dwarf in the doorway.

“It won’t do them any good if you collapse in the hallways either,” Balin replied. Nevertheless, he made no move to stop Thorin, merely falling into step beside him.

They made it as far as the communal halls when a messenger ran up to them.

“Your Majesty, a message from Dale. King Bard’s men spotted a Dwarven caravan by the Northern borders of Mirkwood,” he said breathlessly.

“A Dwarven caravan? The one travelling with Lady Dis?” Thorin asked, hardly daring to hope that his sister would be joining them so soon. He had known she was on her way but if this was indeed her, she was sooner than expected.

“They believe so, but the scout who returned with the report had no time to check,” replied the messenger. “The other scouts remained to aid their journey and report that they should arrive in Erebor within two days.”

Thorin nodded. “Excellent. You’re dismissed.” The messenger ran off and Thorin turned to Balin. “I’d better let Fili and Kili know their mother will be here soon,” he said. “Oversee things without me for a while.” 

Balin nodded, smiling. “Of course, your Majesty.”

Thorin hurried away, not quite as fast as he once could have managed but still fast enough that Oin would have told him off had the old healer been there. He still tired easily but right now, he couldn’t care less. His sister was on her way! He had missed her during their travels, though there had been many times he was glad she hadn’t been there. Not for anything would he have exposed her to the dangers along the way, though he no doubt would have benefited from her advice. 

In his haste to inform his nephews, Thorin forgot about knocking on their door. He burst in, smiling cheerfully.

“Fili, Kili! I’ve news of your mother!” he announced.” She is-”

He broke off suddenly. They weren’t alone. All thoughts exited from Thorin’s mind as he stared at the pale, terrified face of Bilbo Baggins.

“ _You!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote that scene with Ori three times and I'm still not sure about it. I'm 99% positive his characterisation is way off... Also, I was tempted to end it at Ori's meeting with Bilbo but I've been really looking forward to writing Thorin's reaction...


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note to say thanks to everyone who has left kudos, comments, bookmarked and/or subscribed to this. I love you all.

His chest hurt, like his heart was trying to beat its way out of his chest. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t _move_ despite the voice in his head telling him that he had to _get out, go now, he’ll kill me, got to leave, got to go now now now_. His vision narrowed, until all he could see was the shocked dwarf who had burst in. He was vaguely aware of movement, others in the room pulling him backward and talking.

And then the world faded away and all he was left with was a voice.

“ _You! What were you thinking?”_

_“He’s been lost ever since he left home. He never should have come.”_

_“You miserable hobbit! You undersized burglar!”_

There were more scathing remarks in that same deep voice telling him he was worthless, useless. Shame burned deep inside, along with the deep-seated knowledge that the voice was right.

* * *

Fili and Kili froze, staring up at their uncle. They shared one brief look that communicated all they needed to - ‘This is not good.’

When Bilbo began gasping for breath, pale and trembling, they sprang into action. Kili gathered Bilbo up in his arms and carried him to Fili’s bedroom. Fili leapt from his chair and began pushing Thorin out of the room while he was still too stunned to react.

“Don’t be angry, Uncle,” he said once they were out in the hallway. “I promise you, we were going to tell you when the timing was right.” His stomach churned, thinking of Bilbo. “And please, don’t be upset with Bilbo. Whatever you do, don’t be angry at him.”

“Then… that was truly him,” Thorin murmured as though he didn’t believe it. His expression hardened and he suddenly looked furious. “You owe me an explanation for this.”

Fili lowered his gaze. His uncle had always had the ability to make him feel like a small child whenever he was angry. Yet he would not be cowed. For Bilbo’s sake, he would face this like an adult. He squared his shoulders, raised his chin and looked Thorin in the eye. “And you’ll get one, but not in the hallways.” When Thorin made to go back into the prince’s rooms, Fili pulled him back. “No, not here. You’ve terrified Bilbo enough for one day.”

Thorin turned back to him, narrowing his eyes. “My rooms then.”

Fili nodded his agreement and fell into step beside his uncle. The silent walk to Thorin’s chambers was agonising. Fili’s mind was racing a mile a minute, trying to figure out how he was going to calm Thorin and make him understand. 

Once they were in private, Thorin shut the door and rounded on his nephew immediately. 

“You will tell me why you are hiding the halfling in your room. Has he been there all along, while we all worried about him? Why would you not tell anyone? What could you possibly hope to gain by keeping him in your chambers?” asked Thorin furiously. 

“His trust!” snapped Fili. “We were gaining his _trust._ ”

Thorin stepped back, confused but still angry. 

“He doesn’t remember anything, Thorin, and everything here terrifies him,” the young prince pressed on. “He can’t remember us or our journey or the dragon or anything apart from his own name and maybe a bit of the Shire. He was hiding in the northward passages because all the dwarves moving into the mountain scared him. _We_ scared him.”

Fili paused, breathing heavily. 

“And so you decided to keep him in your chambers, hiding him from those who would help him?” thundered Thorin. “You know we would help him!”

“Not if you terrify him into running away again!” countered Fili. “It’s taken days for him to relax around just me and Kili! He hides every time someone comes to our chambers! He started panicking when we brought _Ori_ back with us earlier!”

Thorin gave him an incredulous look. “ _Ori_? You let Ori in on this and not - and no one else?!” 

Fili let out a growl of frustration. “Are you not _listening_ to me? We always intended to bring everyone in on this - even you! We picked Ori first because we thought he was least likely to scare him to death and that didn’t go nearly so well as we’d hoped - and now you! We’ll be lucky if he doesn’t bolt the moment he gets the chance!” He threw his hands up and turned away from Thorin before his anger led him to do something he would later regret. He threw himself down in one of the chairs, stretching out his legs and forcing himself to relax a little.

Thorin was quiet for a moment, mulling over Fili’s words. “Is he truly so timid now?”

Fili nodded, the anger draining out of him as Thorin also seemed to calm. “He was in the battle, Uncle. He woke up there, in all that death and chaos, with no idea how or why he was there, if he was among friends or foes. How well would you cope with such a situation, if you were far from home and all you loved?”

The dwarf king grimaced, taking a seat opposite Fili. “Not well, I would imagine…”

“Exactly.”

Thorin looked up at Fili’s matter of fact tone. “I still wish you had told us, instead of hiding him as you were.”

Fili smiled sadly. “We weren’t sure that he wouldn’t be overwhelmed by everyone trying to see him. How awful would it have been to have him flee from us because we were too much for him to handle?” he asked.

“The others will need to be told,” Thorin said. “The sooner, the better.”

“I know. But can you promise that they will not all rush to see him? I know everyone has missed him so much and they’ve all been so worried,” replied Fili.

Thorin frowned, considering the likely reactions of each member of the Company. “I am sure we will manage it somehow. No one will want him to disappear again.”

“That doesn’t mean he won’t. You haven’t seen how fast he can vanish,” Fili sighed. “Every time someone comes into our rooms, he’s gone before we can blink and we have no idea how he manages it and we can’t even look for him because of whomever has come to visit.”

“Then I shall ensure visitors are restricted,” Thorin said “Company members only, so that he may get used to us.”

Fili nodded. “That sounds like a good idea.” He stood to leave, wanting to return to Bilbo as soon as possible. He had been as white as a sheet when Thorin had burst in. Which reminded him that he still didn’t know why his uncle had come to their rooms. “By the way, what did you come to tell us earlier?”

Thorin had to take a moment to remember. Seeing Bilbo had quite put the matter of Dis’ arrival out of his mind. “Your mother’s caravan has been sighted north of Mirkwood. She’ll be arriving soon.”

“Oh.” Fili blinked. “Oh!” He grinned as it sunk in. “…She’s going to kill you, you know. Getting me and Kili involved in a war… tut tut, Uncle.”

“Sh knew there would be dangers,” grumbled Thorin. “We were off to face a dragon, after all.”

“And she wasn’t exactly happy about that either…” Fili remembered the terrible arguments they had had before she had finally relented.

“I will see to preparations for her arrival.You’d better go and tell your brother.”

Fili nodded and went to do just that.

* * *

Bilbo had not stopped shaking since Fili and Thorin had left, but the wracking sobs had died down to quiet whimpers. Kili wasn’t sure what was worse. The sobbing had been terrible but the quiet crying was just as bad because he couldn’t seem to make Bilbo stop. The young prince pulled him into his lap on Fili’s bed and rocked him back and forth, as he recalled his mother doing when he had been a dwarfling. Trying to talk to Bilbo seemed to have no effect, as the hobbit didn’t respond but that didn’t stop Kili from talking to him, pleading with him to calm down.

“Everything’s alright, Bilbo. No one is going to hurt you. Me and Fili will protect you, alright? Just… just calm down. You’ll be fine, just relax and breathe.” He kept repeating himself, hoping to get through to Bilbo.

Eventually, it seemed to work. Bilbo’s breathing evened and he stopped shaking quite so much. When he pulled away, Kili could see that he was still very pale. The hobbit wiped his reddened eyes with shaky hands and looked down at his lap.

“I’m sorry,” he said, voice almost a whisper.

“What? No, no! You don’t need to apologise,” he said quickly. “ _Thorin_ is the one who should apologise. He was the one who burst in without knocking and scared you.”

“Thorin…” Bilbo repeated. “I… I knew him, didn’t I? Before?” He glanced up at Kili, seeking answers.

Kili looked infinitely regretful. “Yes, you did,” he replied. “Do you… remember him?”

Bilbo shook his head. “No. Just… words. Things he said. He… didn’t like me much, did he?”

Kili wanted to gather Bilbo up into his arms again and tell him that was nonsense but how could he, when he had seen the way his uncle had treated Bilbo on their journey? Though Bilbo had earned Thorin’s respect and friendship over time, the incident with the Arkenstone had overturned their friendship. Thorin may regret his actions now but the last words had had spoken to Bilbo were threats and insults, casting him out of Erebor. “He called you friend once. You are one of our Company. He was just surprised to see you. That’s all.”

Bilbo did not look convinced.

“He had kind words for you once, Bilbo.” And more than that, though Kili refrained from saying so. He recalled the embrace on the Carrock and knew that Bilbo would not believe him if he mentioned it now. Thorin had looked so _furious_ when he had realised who he was looking at. Kili hoped it was the same kind of furious that Thorin had been on the Carrock, which had led to acceptance and, most surprisingly, a hug. Kili hoped that when Thorin calmed down, there would be more apologies, but he wasn’t sure Bilbo would accept another embrace from him in his current state.

“If you say so…” Bilbo replied doubtfully.

“It’s true!” Kili insisted. “Once Fili’s calmed him down, we’ll get him to apologise and then you can be friends again and then you’ll see.” He pulled Bilbo into a tight hug.

Bilbo hesitated before curling his arms loosely around Kili and gripping his shirt. They remained that way until Fili returned. Bilbo heard him lock the outer door before coming into the bedroom and joining them on the bed. The hobbit found himself sandwiched between the two dwarf brothers and there was a great deal of shifting until they were all comfortable.

“How did it go?” asked Kili once they were all settled.

“Well, he’s still upset but he’s not exactly angry,” Fili replied. “I think it’s just because we didn’t tell him. Didn’t help when I said we’d had Ori here earlier though.”

“Are you in trouble because of me?” Bilbo whispered miserably.

Fili and Kili tightened their hold on him, both denying it.

“No, of course not.”

“Even though he’s not happy with us, we’re not in any trouble. He’s even going to help us to help you adjust.”

“What? Really?”

Fili nodded. “Yes. He said that no one other than our Company is to come to our rooms anymore, so you can get used to everyone again,” he told Bilbo. “But he did insist that we tell everyone at dinner as soon as possible…”

“Ah…” Kili said. “Why do I not see that going well?”

Between them, Bilbo tensed up. 

“Oh, don’t worry! We won’t let anything happen! They’ll all just get a bit excited but we’ll stop them from coming up here to overwhelm you,” Kili said quickly. 

“We promise, nothing bad will happen while we are able to protect you,” Fili added.

“We’ll organise something so you have time to get to know them all,” Kili suggested. “They’ll all want to help you. Everyone was really worried when you disappeared.”

“No one is going to hurt you,” reassured Fili.

Bilbo said nothing, merely nodding as they spoke. He knew these things. He had been told often enough and yet he couldn’t stop being afraid all the time. It was exhausting. 

“Trust us, you’ll be fine,” Kili murmured.

“I do,” whispered Bilbo. He did his best to relax, to show that he did trust them with simple actions instead of words. The conversation died off and Bilbo fell into an uneasy sleep. Fili and Kili followed not long after, too comfortable and warm to resist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter seemed a lot better in my head, before I wrote it. Ugh. I feel like it's too short and not enough happened but it's been kind of a nightmare to write and I want to move on to the next chapter, which will hopefully be more interesting. 
> 
> *flops and dies* i'm so sorry this chapter is all fail


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As it turns out, waiting after I've finished a chapter to post it is not a good idea because I get more and more worried that it isn't good enough. That's happened to this chapter. I just can't shake the feeling that it's all going to be a huge disappointment. 
> 
> But it's written now so.
> 
> Thanks, as always, to those who left comments, kudos, subscribed or bookmarked. You're awesome and I would respond to comments if I wasn't a total failure.

Dinner that night was less tense than before. Thorin was more relaxed, though the looks that he directed at his nephews were still expectant. The other dwarves had picked up on the fact that something had changed, judging from the curious glances sent his way, but none dared ask. The closest anyone came to it was Balin, who had asked if everything was alright. 

“Yes, everything is fine,” Thorin replied.

“…and the boys?” Balin questioned.

“It’s fine. I… understand a little more now,” Thorin said. The lack of trust still stung though but Thorin no longer acted so cold towards his nephews. He wondered if his behaviour towards them had been one of the things that had made them decide not to tell him about Bilbo yet. Had he not made his regret clear to them? Did they not realise that they could have come to him for help? He had much to make up to their burglar, if only he could get the chance to do so.

If Bilbo would accept him, of course. Thinking back to the moment he had first laid eyes on him, Thorin remembered a white face, wide eyes and a terrified expression. Throughout their journey, they had faced many ordeals together and Bilbo had often been scared but he had never been so scared of Thorin before. Even when he had lost his temper in the midst of the gold madness, dangling Bilbo over the gate and threatening to drop him, Bilbo had not looked so frightened. He had been scared but determined, sure that he was doing the right thing. There was nothing of that determination in the hobbit he had seen earlier. In fact, it had taken him several seconds to even recognise him as the hobbit. He had looked so thin and pale, nearly lifeless compared to his former self. 

Perhaps Bilbo would want nothing to do with him. He had behaved abominably towards Bilbo, despite the fact that the halfling had saved his life and the lives of the Company over and over again. He had betrayed them to save their lives - and it was only now that Thorin was clearheaded once again that he could admit that Bilbo had been right to do so.

Thorin knew he had much to make amends for, the least of which was startling Bilbo into a panic. He assumed that he hadn't run away, as Fili and Kili had not indicated that anything was amiss. But was there any point in apologising for something that Bilbo apparently did not remember? Forgiveness would mean nothing if he could not be sure it was sincere, and how could Bilbo truly forgive him if he did not know what he was forgiving?

But perhaps... Perhaps there was a bright side to this situation? If Bilbo didn't remember him, then perhaps they could have a fresh start? Thorin had sorely underestimated their burglar from the start and treated him unfairly. Bilbo had not deserved his ill treatment at all. But perhaps now they could begin again, this time as friends. Bilbo could get to know him, this time without any attacks from orcs, wargs, goblins or anything else threatening their lives. Then perhaps if Bilbo did regain his memory, he would know they were friends and, if not forgive him, then at least permit him to make amends in whatever way he could.

Satisfied with this plan, Thorin smiled to himself and join in the conversation around the dinner table.

* * *

Bilbo woke up alone in bed. His stomach rumbled loudly, reminding him that had hadn’t eaten much that day. He realised he must have been sleeping through the dwarves’ dinner, as Fili and Kili were gone. They had left him a note by the bed though. 

_’Bilbo, we’ve gone to dinner with the others. We’ll be back soon, so don’t worry.’_ Fili had written, followed by Kili’s untidy scrawl. ‘ _We’ll bring you back something to eat! Stay put and we’ll be back soon!_ ’

The mention of dinner filled Bilbo with dread. He recalled Fili saying that ‘the others’ would have to be told about him. But Bilbo didn’t remember the others. All he knew was that dwarves filled him with terror, and none more so than Thorin.

_’Thorin…’_ He was important. Bilbo knew that much, though he wasn’t sure how. But important or not, he was terrifying and Bilbo was not looking forward to meeting him again. 

Because he would have to, wouldn’t he? If Thorin was among his friends, then they would be made to spend time together again. Assuming Kili was right and they were friends. Thorin had seemed so _angry_ with him and he had no idea what he could possibly have done to provoke such wrath. 

Bilbo slid off the bed, rearranging the overly large tunic he was wearing. He would have preferred clothes in his own size, but Fili and Kili had decided that his own were too dirty to be salvaged and they had not seemed to make any attempt at acquiring more. So he was stuck borrowing their clothes, which were much too big and made him feel much smaller. It looked almost as though he was wearing a dress sometimes. 

Sneaking, though he had no real reason to do so, Bilbo left the bedroom. He was alone, but he already knew that. He also knew that no one else was permitted to come up here now. The only people who could disturb him were the company of dwarves that apparently knew him. Thirteen in total, Fili and Kili had said. Thirteen dwarves, all bigger and stronger than he was - even Ori, who had been quiet and friendly, would be stronger than him. 

And the brothers were going to tell them all that he was here.

He would no longer be a secret. People would come to see him. They had worried, or so he had been told. They would want to see him, as soon as possibly probably. Bilbo’s stomach tied itself in knots as he imagined a crowd of rough, noisy dwarves bursting into the room looking for him. What if they were coming now? Bilbo watched the door as though expecting it to slam open at any moment. 

There was no noise from the hallway though. So many dwarves couldn’t possibly walk quietly, could they? Carefully, the hobbit approached the door. He stood barely an inch away, straining his ears to hear something - anything - from the corridor beyond.

There was silence.

They weren’t coming for him yet. But they would, wouldn’t they? Bilbo’s instincts urged him to leave, run away while he could. This could be his only chance, after all. Who knew what the others would do? Fili and Kili were only two dwarves. They couldn’t protect him from all the others, even with Ori’s help.

With a trembling hand, Bilbo grasped the door handle. With a deep breath to steady himself, he pulled it open, just a little. Enough to hear if anyone was in the corridor outside. There was no one. Bilbo opened the door further, gazing out into the hallway.

He could leave now, step outside of the rooms that had become his sanctuary over the past week or two. He would miss Fili and Kili terribly, of course, but he could do it. Disappearing into the depths of Erebor would be easy. Perhaps he could even find his way out of the mountain, but he had no idea what he would do if he managed that. Go home, perhaps, to the Shire? But the Shire was only a vague memory of green hills in his memory and he had no idea how to get back there. He was almost certain that he would not survive the journey alone.

That only left the dark depths of Erebor. He had done it before and he could do it again. All he had to do was step outside the room and then he could run and never look back. No more terrifying visitors, not even the threat of one hanging over his head.

Raised voices echoed down the corridor from somewhere. They seemed to be shouting about something, though Bilbo couldn’t make out what. Still, the sound was enough to have him slamming the door and fleeing back to the bedroom. He scrambled underneath Fili’s bed, crying and cursing his cowardice.

* * *

Dinner was drawing to a close. Fili looked to his uncle, seeing him lost in thought. He knew he would be expected to tell the others tonight and the longer they waited, the worse it would be - both for them and for Bilbo. The elder prince nudged his brother. 

“I think we should do it now,” he whispered.

Kili pressed his lips together in a thin line, looking past Fili to Thorin and then back to Fili. “I think you’re right.”

Together they shoot, drawing everyone’s attention. 

“Everyone, we have an announcement to make,” Fili began. He looked to Thorin for support and got an approving nod. “We need to tell you what - or who, rather - we found in the northward passages.”

“I knew you found something!” Bofur called out.

“You didn’t think you were hiding anything, did you?” Gloin asked.

Fili and Kili shook their heads sheepishly. “We know we shouldn’t have kept this from you but… we didn’t know what else to do,” Fili said.

“I’m sure it’s alright, laddie,” Balin said reassuringly. “We won’t be upset if you tell the truth.”

Kili smiled sickly. “Hah, I wish I could believe that…” he muttered.

“Oh, come now. Surely it’s not as bad as all that? You’re not hiding orcs, are you?” Balin frowned.

“No, no!” Fili replied. “But we need you to promise that you aren’t going to go charging off when we tell you. He… really wouldn’t take it well.”

“What do you mean?” asked Dori. “Come on, out with it!”

“We, uh…. We found Bilbo,” Kili announced. He edged closer to his brother, expecting the backlash.

All at once, the hall erupted in chaos. Every dwarf wanted to make his voice heard.

“How could you keep this from us?”

“Don’t you trust us?”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Where is he now?”

“You should have brought him to us instead of keeping him to yourself.”

“I want to see him!”

“ _SILENCE!_ ” Thorin’s voice cut across the others. The other dwarves fell silent. Fili and Kili shot him a grateful look, standing close together. “You will listen to their explanation and then we will decide what to do with the halfling.”

The dwarves, with the exception of Ori, turned their attention to the princes. Ori glanced around at the other dwarves, trying to gauge their reactions. All displayed varying degrees of surprise and hurt. 

“Get on with it then,” Gloin said impatiently.

Fili and Kili looked to each other, nodded and then Fili spoke up. “He’s …well, he’s not the same anymore,” he said quietly. “He doesn’t remember us. He doesn’t know what we’ve been through together. He has no recollection of the journey we shared or the times he’s saved our lives. All he knew when we found him was that he was very far from home with no idea how he got here.”

“But why wouldn’t you bring him to us?” Bofur asked. “We can help him.”

“We wanted to, we really did,” Kili said. “I know you’ve all missed him. We did too. But he’s… he’s not ready to meet everyone yet.”

“When you say he’s not ready…” Dwalin said slowly, trailing off.

“We mean he couldn’t deal with it. He’s scared of everyone. It’s taken days for him to relax as much as he has around us and then I thought we’d ruined it when we sprung Ori on him-” Kili was cut off when others began talking over him.

“Ori?”

“Why did Ori get to meet him and not any of the others?”

“Ori, is this true?”

“Is that why I caught you coming out of their rooms earlier?”

“Shut up!” This time it was Fili who lost patience, thumping on the table for everyone’s attention. “If you want us to explain, then shut up and listen! Bilbo is scared of us - of everyone here in Erebor. That’s why he was hiding down in the dark. We chose Ori to meet him first because we thought he wouldn’t scare him. He’s the youngest of us, and the quietest. We thought that maybe Bilbo wouldn’t be scared of him but…”

“But?” prompted Bofur.

“But he was scared of me,” Ori said. He held his head high as all others turned to him. “He turned so white, I thought he might faint. And he’s so thin! Almost a skeleton!”

“I don’t think he’s been able to eat much since he found his way inside the mountain,” Fili said.

“Oh!” Bombur exclaimed. “The missing scraps! The kitchen assistants’ stories! It must have been our burglar they heard but could never find!”

Fili nodded. “He is very good at disappearing when he wants to. I think it is only loneliness that has kept him from running away when Kili and I leave him alone in our rooms.”

“You don’t lock the door?” asked Nori, raising his eyebrows. “Is that wise?”

“He isn’t a prisoner so we won’t treat him like one,” Kili replied.

“We never said you should, but what if someone else discovers him?” Balin asked. “There are those who know of the incident with the Arkenstone and do not look kindly upon his actions, whatever his intentions were.”

“Access to the Royal Suites, especially Fili and Kili’s chambers is restricted,” Thorin answered. “Only those of the Company may visit until further notice.”

Balin regarded him with some surprise. “You knew of this already, I take it?”

Thorin grimaced. “I discovered Mister Baggins for myself earlier,” he explained. “He… did not take it well.”

“Didn’t take it well!” Kili exploded. “You nearly frightened the life out of him! It took ages for him to calm down!”

“Had I any idea that you were harbouring him, rest assured I would have knocked,” Thorin replied coldly. “But you cannot blame me when you deliberately kept him a secret from us.”

“If Thorin terrified him so badly earlier, then how can you be sure that he won’t leave now?” asked Nori. “I mean… Ori didn’t scare him as much as Thorin did, right? And he’s used to you two so he wouldn’t feel such a need to run away from you but if he thinks Thorin will just burst in again, maybe he’ll decide he’d rather be elsewhere.”

Fili and Kili looked at each other. “We… don’t know for sure,” the elder said.

“And what will you do if he’s gone?” Dwalin asked. 

“Look for him,” Kili replied. “Even if it takes years.” He had the same look of determination Dwalin had often seen on Thorin’s face and the warrior had no doubt that Kili meant every word. 

“Well, maybe we should go and check that he’s still there,” Gloin suggested, standing up. “Just a little look in won’t do any harm, surely?” A few others joined his lead, beginning to move toward the door.

“No!” Ori darted to the door, blocking it. “Absolutely not!”

“Ori!” Dori frowned. “What are you doing? We’re concerned about Mister Baggins. We would only ensure he’s still in Fili and Kili’s rooms, then leave him alone.”

“But you’d scare him! He doesn’t do well with surprises. Fili and Kili didn’t tell him that they were bringing me to meet with him and he went into such a panic because he wasn’t ready,” Ori said. “Please, leave him be. Fili and Kili will check on him.”

“But-”

“No,” Thorin interrupted. “Ori is right. Bilbo would not take our intrusion well.” He glanced at Fili and Kili, who were smiling in relief. “Fili and Kili will return to their rooms alone. If the hobbit is gone, then I expect them to alert us. If not, then we must assume that he is still there and each of you will meet him again in time.”

There was some grumbling among the dwarves. All of them wanted to reunite with their hobbit but neither did they want to frighten him and cause him to run away. Fili and Kili grimaced, knowing there would likely be some competition over who would meet Bilbo and when. They hoped this did not cause any fights among their friends but were unsure how else it would turn out. But there were members of the Company that Bilbo had been closer to than others and the brothers had already narrowed down their choice for the next meeting - provided Bilbo agreed to it.

“We’ll check on him now, Uncle,” Fili said. 

“Very well. Everyone else is to stay away from Fili and Kili’s rooms tonight. Including you, Nori.” Thorin gave the Spymaster a pointed look. 

Nori faked an innocent look that no one was fooled by, until Dwalin gave him a cuff around the head and Dori hauled him and Ori away. After that, the Company dispersed. Fili and Kili stayed long enough to thank Thorin for his support and then dashed back to their rooms. They were most of the way there when a voice called them back.

“Fili, Kili!” The brothers turned back to see Bofur jogging towards them. He stopped a short distance away, seeing their frowns. “I’m not- I’m not going to insist on seeing him now or anything. I just wondered…”

Fili and Kili’s expressions softened. The miner had been fond of Bilbo during their travels and was one of the few who had been friendly with him from the start. He must have been very worried since Bilbo had disappeared but Fili and Kili had not seen much of him lately. He had had work to do while Fili and Kili had been recovering, though he had visited them once or twice. 

Kili glanced to Fili, then took a step towards Bofur. “We’ll talk to him, alright? I think maybe meeting someone friendly will be good for him. Come to breakfast or lunch tomorrow. If he’s up to meeting you, then you can eat with us. Just you, though. We don’t want him overwhelmed with visitors.”

Bofur’s face split in a wide grin. “Thank you kindly. That would be great. I’ll bring messages from the others, if that’s alright?”

“Of course.” Fili agreed. Perhaps it would benefit Bilbo to hear from the others before meeting them. It could lessen the fear brought about be even talking about meeting them.

Bofur bade them goodnight and they parted for the night. Fili and Kili hurried back to their rooms, privately worrying about whether Bilbo would still be there. There was still the possibility that he could have fled, for all their talk of plans. The main room was empty so they headed straight for Fili’s bedroom, thinking that Bilbo might still be asleep. Their hearts leapt to their throats to see the bed was empty. Fili immediately went to check the bathroom and Kili’s room but soon returned.

“He can’t be gone…” Kili whispered.

“We’ll find him, Kee,” Fili reassured him.

“I’m still here,” said a small voice.

The brothers nearly jumped out of their skins. They shared twin expressions of shock, then dropped to their hands and knees to look under the bed. Bilbo stared back at them sheepishly. His eyes were ringed with red.

“Bilbo!” they exclaimed with relief. They reached under the bed and hauled him out. 

“You scared us!” Kili gasped, pulling the hobbit into a hug.

“What were you doing under there?” asked Fili. 

“Are you alright?” Kili asked, before Bilbo could answer his brother.

Bilbo fidgeted nervously. “Did you… did you tell the others about me?”

Fili nodded. “Yes. They know.”

“They’re a bit upset with us for keeping you to ourselves,” Kili admitted. “But we explained why and I think they understand.” He hesitated a moment longer before bringing up Bofur’s intended visit. “Actually… one of them is going to come to visit tomorrow. Either for breakfast or lunch. His name is Bofur. You and he were quite close friends during our journey.”

“If that’s alright with you, of course,” Fili added. “If you don’t want to, then we can let him know.”

Bilbo looked up into their concerned faces. He had scared them by hiding and they didn’t want to push him too much. What if he really did run away next time? If they lost him, they would feel awful. But they hoped that Bilbo would agree. The more people he met, the more his confidence could grow. If Bilbo learned that the dwarves of Erebor would not hurt him, he would stop fearing them so much. 

To their delight, Bilbo nodded. “I’ll meet him,” he told them. There was still nervousness in his gaze but also resolve. In that moment, they could see the hobbit they had once known and loved fighting to return. It would take time of course, but Fili and Kili believed that one day, Bilbo would be truly back to his old self.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...the next chapter will be better, I promise.
> 
> Also, because I am curious I was wondering about introducing any side pairings. So, are there any that people would be interested in? I make no promises about including them though. The only pairing I would rather avoid is Fili/Kili. While I don't mind the pairing, I would prefer them to just be brothers in this story. Either leave a recommendation in the comments or send me a message on tumblr or something.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Progress is made. Gifts are given. Thorin has a Plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....who thought I was never coming back to this? I must admit, even I had doubts. >>
> 
> But then I smashed right through my writer's block and got this thing finished at last. Thanks to everyone who has left kudos and comments. I'm sorry I haven't really responded to any reviews for a long time but I do appreciate every last one. You guys are awesome.

Bilbo awoke the next morning full of nervous anticipation. He was up and dressed before either Fili and Kili, pottering around the main room while he waited for them to awaken. His hand kept going to his pocket, seeking out the ring but he had deliberately left it in the bedroom, hidden under the pillow. It had been a hard decision, even if it wasn’t far away but Bilbo didn’t want the temptation to disappear so close to him. He had decided to meet with this ‘Bofur’ dwarf and he was going to stick to it. He was tired of being afraid all the time and if he spent all his time hiding, then it would never get any easier.

He peeked into Kili’s room, wondering if they were up yet. Fili was hanging off the side of the bed while Kili sprawled behind him, taking up most of the space. When Kili shifted in his sleep, Fili’s face creased in annoyance. Bilbo couldn’t help the quiet chuckle that escaped. Fili’s eyed blinked open.

“…Bilbo?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Bilbo apologised. “I was just wondering if you and Kili were awake yet.”

Kili mumbled something sleepily and rolled over. He took most of the blankets with him. Fili sighed and used the opportunity to get up. Bilbo’s cheeks turned slightly pink at the sight of the dwarf clad only in a sleeping pants but Fili didn’t appear to care that Bilbo was watching him in such an undressed state.

“I’ll get Kili up and we’ll be out in a moment, Bilbo.”

Bilbo nodded and ducked out of the room. He filled his time with tidying up little things around the room until the brothers emerged. Fili had left his swords on the table by the door so Bilbo put them on the rack where they belonged. Kili had kicked his boots off by the fire and hadn’t bothered putting them away so he set them neatly by the door. When Fili and Kili emerged from the bedroom, they were surprised at the sudden tidy state of their living quarters. 

“I’m quite sure I didn’t leave my boots over there,” Kili remarked.

“But it is where you should be leaving them,” Bilbo scolded, too anxious over his impending meeting with Bofur to worry about offending Kili.

“That’s right, Kili. Got to keep the place tidy, you know,” Fili said, clapping his brother on the back. “As punishment, you can be the one to fetch breakfast up from the kitchens.”

“You have no room to talk, Fili, leaving your swords lying about the way you do. And I’m sure it was you who left the towels all over the bathroom floor.” Bilbo scowled at them, irritation fizzling out in the face of their fond expressions. He didn’t quite understand why but hardly protested when they gathered him into a hug. 

“Right, well I’ll go get breakfast then,” Kili said stepping away. He practically skipped out of the room.

“He’s in a good mood this morning,” murmured Bilbo. He felt wrong-footed by the brothers’ cheerful demeanour after spending his waking hours worrying and fretting. 

“It’s a good day,” Fili replied. “We can tell, even if it has only just begun.”

Bilbo said nothing, but he hoped Fili was right.

* * *

Kili whistled a jaunty tune all the way to the kitchens and the communal dining area. He hoped to run into Bofur, but even if he was not in the kitchens then Bombur would be and he would know where to find his brother. Thankfully, luck was on his side. Several members of the Company were among the breakfasting dwarves, Bofur included. Kili grabbed an apple from Ori’s plate as he went past, winking cheerfully at the scribe’s exasperated look. 

“Well, someone’s in a good mood this morning,” Bofur commented as Kili slid into the seat opposite him. The miner didn’t seem to be eating, merely keeping Bombur company.

“I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to be scolded in all my life,” Kili replied truthfully. “It’s almost as though Bilbo’s back to his fussy self once again. I just wish it wasn’t because he was fretting so much he’s almost forgotten to be scared.”

“Oh?” Bofur raised his eyebrows. The rest of the present company crowded around to hear what Kili had to say.

“He was terrified last night - hiding under the bed when we got back from dinner. I think he was convinced everyone would come for him and hurt him somehow,” Kili explained. “But when we talked to him, he still agreed to meet you later today.”

Bofur’s face split in a wide grin. “That’s great. You don’t think he’ll mind if I hold off until lunch, do you? Only I mentioned to Bifur and now he’s off finding something to give to Bilbo as a gift and Bombur here wants to make him something special to eat.”

Bombur nodded, smiling hopefully around a mouthful of food.

“And of course, if anyone else has anything they want to give to our little burglar - be it a present or a message, I’ll only be too happy to take them along,” Bofur added, for the benefit of the Company crowding around.

“I’ve got a nice blend of tea Mister Baggins will probably like,” Dori said, sparking off a murmured discussion about what they could possibly give the hobbit.

“You’ve got until lunch time, lads,” Bofur told them cheerfully. “You’ve got some time to decide.”

“And even if you miss out today, there will be other meetings,” Kili added. “And me and Fili would be happy to pass along anything you want. We need to show him we mean him no harm, after all.”

“Ah, well that’s good,” Nori said. “I’ve something in mind but it’ll take a few days to get ready, I think.”

“Then take your time. I’m sure he’ll appreciate something you’ve put obvious effort into,” Kili replied.

“Aye. We need to do our best to make him feel welcome among us,” Bofur said. He stood to leave. “Now, I’d better go make preparations of my own. Make sure the others know to prepare something. I’ll be around before lunch to take anything along to our little hobbit.” 

Bofur's first port of call was Thorin, for several reasons, chief among them being that a token from him would no doubt go along way to soothing the tension between the King Under the Mountain and their burglar. Bofur whistled cheerfully on his way to Thorin's chambers. He might still think of himself as a simple miner and toymaker but being part of Thorin's Company came with a few benefits, one of them being the freedom to pop in on the king's private chambers if he needed to. 

"Bofur." Thorin rubbed his forehead, attempting to alleviate a headache. "I'm sure it's still far too early to be so cheerful." 

"Nonsense, it's a wonderful day, your majesty," Bofur replied. Titles were not strictly necessary in private among the company but they still fell to using them occasionally. 

"Perhaps for those who do not have a fresh pile of acquisition and requisition forms to authorise," muttered Thorin. "Please tell me the miners do not need more equipment..." 

"Not that I know of," Bofur replied. "I'm here regarding our little burglar. Fili and Kili tell me he's agreed to meet me and I thought it might be a nice gesture if I bring along some tokens and messages from everyone. Show him we're not all terrifying, you know." 

Thorin raised an eyebrow. If he wasn't used to Bofur's blunt speech, he could have taken offence. 

"And such a gesture would help smooth things over between you two, what with you scaring the life out of the poor lad," continued the miner obliviously. 

The idea had merit, Thorin had to admit, but what could he possibly gift Bilbo with? His first thought were beads - important to a dwarf, but their meaning could easily be misconstrued and Bilbo likely wouldn't understand the significance of it. The hobbit had never cared for jewels, so that was out of the question. "What kinds of things are the others giving him?" 

"Well, Bombur is baking him some cookies and Bifur is off fetching... I'm not sure what, actually. Don't know about the others but I sent a message round." Bofur shrugged. “Nori said he had an idea but it would take a while so you can take your time if you need to.”

Time. Time would be wonderful. Thorin could learn what the others were giving him then, find some suitable inspiration for his own gift because certainly a simple message would never do. The king nodded. “I think that would be best. Given the damage I have already caused, I would not want to give a thoughtless gift. Our burglar deserves better than that.”

“Aye,” Bofur agreed, nodding. “So think about it then. I’ll be around the feasting halls just before lunch if you’ve got anything for me to take.” The miner stood to leave. “I’ll see you later then, Thorin.”

“Indeed you will,” Thorin replied. If he did not have a gift or at the very least, a message for Bilbo by lunchtime, he would still see Bofur at dinner that night, after all. 

As the morning went on, Bofur collected gifts and messages from the other members of the Company. However, when lunchtime rolled around, Thorin was conspicuously absent. Bofur waited as long as he could, though as he was eager to see Bilbo again, he did not actually wait all that long. His route took him near enough to Thorin’s chambers that he thought to knock but there was no answer and the door was locked. Shrugging, the miner went on his way.

* * *

Fili and Kili’s room was spotless, possibly the tidiest it had ever been since it was constructed. Fili and Kili hardly dared sit down, lest Bilbo reprimand them for creasing the cushion covers. While breakfast had settled some of the nauseous feeling, the hobbit was still fretting over his meeting with Bofur.

“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea…” Kili muttered to Fili. They watched the hobbit wring his hands, casting his gaze about for something else to straighten up or put away.

“Bofur will be here soon,” Fili replied. “It’s a bit late for him to change his mind, and it would be rather rude to send him away after he came all the way up here. He might not even have time to eat if we made him come all the way here and then sent him away again without any food.” He waved a hand dismissively. “Anyway, Bilbo’s one of the bravest hobbits we know.“ - He ignored Kili’s muttered, “He’s the only hobbit we know!” - “How many times did he overcome his own fears on our journey? Compared to some of the things we faced, this is nothing. Bilbo can do this. I know he can.”

“…Yeah, you’re right, Fili,” agreed Kili, his gaze sliding to the hobbit’s back.

Across the room, Bilbo stopped wringing his hands. He didn’t know he was being watched, but he knew they were talking about him. Fili wasn’t that quiet, even if Kili had been a little hard to make out. The hobbit took a deep, shaky breath. His memories of their journey were gone but the dwarves still remembered everything and their faith in him, in his ability to overcome his anxiety had not been borne from nothing. He took a little comfort in that and straightened himself up. Fili and Kili were his dearest friends in this place - his only friends, until he met the others or his memories returned. He would not let them down by refusing to meet with Bofur.

No sooner had he decided this than there was a knock at the door. Despite his conviction to see this through, Bilbo gasped quietly. Kili came over to rest a hand on his shoulder, a gesture of comfort and solidarity, while Fili answered the door. Whatever Bilbo expected, the cheerfully smiling dwarf in his upturned hat was not it. 

The dwarf swept the hat from his head and bowed his head in greeting. “Bofur, at your service, Bilbo Baggins.”

“I- uh… it’s… nice to meet you. Again,” Bilbo replied.

Bofur straightened up, looking over the hobbit appraisingly. “It’s good to see you again,” he said. “You have no idea how good.”

Though the smile had faded, there was such sincerity, warmth and relief in the dwarf’s voice that Bilbo couldn’t help but relax and smile back at him. He no longer felt such a need to run and hide. He could do this. 

“Well, shall we eat or shall we stand around some more?” Kili asked, interrupting the momentary silence before it could turn awkward. 

The table was already prepared with a selection of different foods, and jugs of fruit cordials and water that Fili and Kili had already brought up from the kitchens, as well as an extra chair for Bofur. As was habit by now, Fili and Kili started automatically filling Bilbo’s plate, ensuring that he got some of everything while making sure he didn’t overeat. At first, Bilbo hadn’t minded them taking care of him in such a manner but as they didn’t seem inclined to stop at all, he was beginning to feel annoyed. He was not completely helpless. But he did not dare say anything in front of company.

“Everyone was very glad to hear you’re alright,” Bofur said, helping himself to the food.

“I wish I could remember everyone,” Bilbo said quietly. “I’m so sorry that I can’t.”

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll just have to help you make new memories,” Bofur said cheerfully. “And on that note, the others have sent along some presents for you.”

“Presents? For me?”Bilbo gaped. “I hardly know what to say.”

“Did you get something from everyone?” asked Kili.

Bofur shook his head. “No, not everyone. Nori’s preparing something he said would take a few days and so is Thorin, I believe. Not that I could find him before I came but I had a little talk with him to get him thinking.”

“Thorin?” squeaked Bilbo, growing pale.

“Aye, Thorin. We heard he’s got a lot to make up to you,” Bofur said.

Bilbo’s mouth snapped shut with an audible click. If possible, it seemed that he had paled even further. He didn’t want to think of Thorin. He was the most terrifying dwarf he had encountered yet. “He doesn’t have to,” he said quietly, dropping his gaze.

“Yes, he does,” Fili replied firmly. 

“But we won’t let him scare you or do anything to hurt you,” Kili added.

“Aye. Not that he would try to,” Bofur added. “He’s not exactly the friendliest of dwarves and he’s made plenty of bad decisions but he’s got a good heart - it just seems to be pretty well hidden sometimes, that’s all.”

“Bofur!” Fili groaned, sure that the miner was not helping. He recalled all too clearly the night when Bofur’s enthusiastic and persistent descriptions of death by dragon had caused Bilbo to faint dead away. The topic of conversation might not include incineration but anyone could see that the mere mention of Thorin had Bilbo on edge. 

“…Bofur is right though,” Kili said. He turned to Bilbo. “Thorin might seem all gruff and scary but he was a good uncle to us when we were growing up. He still is. He just… mixes up his outward reactions with his inner feelings sometimes.” He waved a fork around, gesticulating as he talked. “Like when his surprise came out as anger yesterday. He’s done the same thing with gratitude before, yelling when he should have been saying ‘thanks for saving my life!’”

Bilbo looked doubtful but no longer on the verge of running away.

“Anyway, I believe there were gifts…?” Fili said, taking the opportunity to set the conversation back on course.

“And you’d believe right,” 

Bofur replied. He started digging around in his pockets. “Things might have gotten a little squashed but… well, I did my best not to. Now, lets see what we have here…”

Bilbo watched silently, a mixture of excitement and apprehension filling him up inside. What would a group of dwarves give him? He knew enough to realise that dwarves and hobbits were very different creatures and what might seem appropriate to a dwarf might not be suitable for a hobbit. But these dwarves still seemed to consider him a friend, even if he was too scared to face them. Perhaps they knew him well enough to know what he would like. Or perhaps not. 

But then Bofur pulled out pulled out a small metal tin. He passed it to Bilbo with a smile. “From my brother, Bombur.”

Bilbo opened the tin curiously. Inside was a batch of freshly baked cookies, a little crumbled from being jostled around in Bofur’s pocket but still delicious. Disregarding the rest of his lunch, the hobbit tried one, moaning sinfully. “These are really good!”

Bofur grinned. “Bombur’ll be delighted to hear it.”

Kili eyed the cookies enviously. “That’s not fair. I want cookies too.”

“Kili!” Fili warned. But he was looking rather hungrily at the tin too. 

Bilbo laughed. “I’ll share - but after lunch,” he said, closing the tin quite firmly. 

“Aw…” Both dwarven princes looked disappointed, but it didn’t last for long in the face of Bofur and Bilbo’s amusement.

“I’ve got more still, if you give me a moment…” Bofur dug around in another pocket to find one of the other gifts he had for Bilbo. This time, he produced a small ornate wooden box. “This, I believe, is from Dori.”

“That’s Ori’s eldest brother,” Kili explained. “His other brother is called Nori.”

Bilbo nodded his understanding, examining the box. It was beautifully carved. When he opened it, a calming aroma rose from the contents.

“It’s a special blend of tea he thought you might like,” Bofur explained.

“It smells lovely. I’m sure I’ll enjoy it,” replied Bilbo. He closed the box and put it alongside the tin of cookies.

“Now, I’m sure there’s something else…” Bofur said, half to himself. He patted down his pockets, then grinned. “Ah, here we go.” He dipped a hand into his pocket and carefully pulled out a rather sorry looking handful of flowers and leaves, kept together by a little leather bag tied tightly around the stems. Bilbo realised the little leather bag held water the moment he took it. How it had not spilled and the flowers been crushed completely in Bofur’s pocket was entirely beyond Bilbo. 

“These are from my cousin, Bifur.”

Bilbo brought the bouquet to his nose to see if there was a scent. “Oh…”

For a brief moment, Bilbo forgot entirely that he was sitting in a room in a mountain. Just for an instant he was back in the Shire, sitting in a field as a young hobbitling. _’Now, Bilbo, did you know plants have their own language? Each plant and flower you see has it’s own special meaning…’_

“Bilbo?” Fili’s voice broke through the memory - for that was surely what it was.

Bilbo looked up, smiling. “I’m sorry. It just… brought back a memory of my mother.”

“A memory?” Kili asked. All three dwarves looked excited at the possibility, even if it was not they whom he was remembering. 

Bilbo nodded. “She taught me the meanings of flowers when I was a child.” He touched the different plants Bofur had just handed him. “Rosemary for remembrance. Zinnias for thoughts of absent friends. Irises for good news and borage for courage.”

“I’ll tell Bifur his gift was much appreciated,” Bofur said. 

“I’ll need something to keep them in,” Bilbo said, glancing around.

“Here, use my cup,” Kili offered. He drained the last of the cordial in a couple of swallows and then refilled it from a jug of water. 

Biblo accepted gratefully. “Thank you, Kili.” He very carefully pulled the plants out of the leather pouch and arranged them as artfully as he could manage.

“The others will bring their gifts along when they’re ready,” Bofur said.

Bilbo nodded, seeming much happier. “I look forward to meeting them,” he replied truthfully.

* * *

Thorin had hoped to return to his chambers unnoticed. There was no such luck, however.

“Where have you been, laddie? I had assumed that you were more sensible than to disappear without warning like Fili and Kili did,” Balin said reproachfully.

Thorin froze, hand on the doorknob. “I was merely taking a walk, Balin.”

“Aye, but where did you take a walk to?” There was an amused glint in Balin’s eyes as he mentally compared Thorin with his nephews. 

“Around Erebor. I had things to think about and I found that sitting idly in my chambers was not helping,” Thorin said, not turning to look. He knew what he would see in Balin’s expression. Instead, he opened the door to his chambers and strode inside, leaving the door open for Balin to follow him.

“And did taking a walk help?”

“Yes, actually, it did.” Thorin flashed a brief smile. “Now, is there a reason you were lurking outside my chambers other than to interrogate me about my whereabouts?”

“I just thought you might like to know I sent a raven to find Gandalf. I thought he should know we’ve located our burglar and that he is alive, if not completely well. He may be able to help Bilbo with his amnesia, if Ori’s search of the libraries doesn’t turn up anything useful in the meantime,” the older dwarf explained.

Thorin nodded. “A good idea,” he agreed, though he was not looking forward to meeting with the wizard again. 

The wizard had an awful way of making him recount every way he he had failed Bilbo over the course of their journey. Gandalf had not been pleased, to say the least, to learn they had lost track of their burglar in the battle. He had been both worried and furious with Thorin over his treatment of the hobbit. Though Thorin had begun his recovery from the gold sickness before Gandalf had departed in search of Bilbo, they had not parted on good terms. Both regretted their actions, Thorin for disregarding Bilbo’s attempts to help and banishing him and Gandalf for getting Bilbo involved at all. That had led to some regrettable words being spoken between them. Gandalf had left before Thorin could swallow his pride long enough to apologise. Now the wizard would be coming back too see Bilbo and would see what a sorry state he was in, terrified of those he had once called friends, who he had abandoned his home for and fought to protect. 

“I knew you would agree,” Balin said. 

Thorin did turn to look at his most trusted advisor then, but he could read nothing in Balin’s expression.

“Now, if that is all, I have work I should be doing,” Thorin said, gesturing to his desk.

“Of course,” Balin replied, turning to leave. “Though after taking a walk, you might want to consider resting.” He paused at the door. “By the way, did you think of a gift to give to Bilbo? Bofur was collecting them earlier.”

“I’ve thought of one,” Thorin admitted. “But it will take some time before it is ready.”

Balin smiled approvingly. “And I don’t suppose you feel like sharing your idea?”

Thorin smiled. “I’m busy, Balin. I’ll see you at dinner.”

As Balin shut the door, Thorin thought he heard him mutter something about traits running in his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel it should be noted that I have no idea if Bifur would have actually been able to find those plants either growing around Erebor or in Dale or wherever. I tried to research the kinds of plants that might grow around there and match them with meanings I found online but it all kind of made my head spin and I was getting way too off-track when I should have been writing. Ss in the end I just picked based on meanings. >>
> 
> (also i tried to proofread this but kept getting sidetracked by how much i suddenly hated everything i've ever written s if there are mistakes, i apologise for that too. if there are any glaring errors, please feel free to point them out and i'll correct them right away!)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got away from me a bit. It wasn't easy to write. There are parts of it that had me tearing my hair out and parts of it that I do actually quite like. Not a lot of plot in this one though. More advancement next time, I promise.
> 
> And, as usual, much love for everyone who reviews, leaves kudos or otherwise gets in contact with me. I love that you love this story.

After Bofur’s successful visit, Bilbo seemed to be much happier. As promised, he shared his cookies with the dwarves after lunch and tried the tea from Dori later in the afternoon. He didn’t even think of his ring until after Fili and Kili went to dinner and he decided to take a nap. He slipped his hand under the pillow, momentarily startled to feel the touch of cold metal. But then he curled his fingers around it, taking comfort in the smooth surface and dropped off to sleep until Fili and Kili returned.

Bilbo’s improved mood boosted Fili and Kili’s moods. Bofur was more jovial than usual as well, the three of them greatly cheering the rest of the company at dinner. The rest of the dwarves were pleased to hear that Bilbo was beginning to show signs of improvement but none were so pleased as Bifur when he heard his gift had caused Bilbo to remember a little piece of his past.

Only Thorin remained silent, not joining the excited conversations around the dinner table. Though outwardly he smiled and seemed relaxed, as happy as the others to hear that Bilbo’s memories could return, inwardly he was conflicted. It was a good thing, a great thing, that Bilbo was recovering his memories and Thorin was truly happy for the hobbit. Yet if Bilbo recalled their last conversation, perhaps Thorin would lose his chance at making amends. His best hope would be to attempt to befriend Bilbo again quickly but pushing the hobbit too much could have the opposite effect.

“You are too quiet tonight, Thorin,” Balin remarked. “Does something trouble you?”

Thorin shook his head. “Not at all,” he lied smoothly. “I am glad to hear our hobbit is recovering, however slowly.”

“Then you could show it a bit better,” Kili said. “You’ve been quiet all evening.”

“Merely lost in my own thoughts,” Thorin replied. “I have much to think about.”

“Like what?” asked Fili, sharing a look with his brother.

“Like what I should do to two nosey nephews,” Thorin retorted. “My thoughts are my own and I am not yet ready to discuss them.” 

“Ah, I suppose this is about whatever you were up to today,” Balin guessed. 

“Oh, have you been thinking about what to give to our little burglar?” asked Bofur. 

“Yes, but it requires thought and planning before it will be ready,” replied Thorin, relieved. His gift was part of his plan, perhaps the only part of it that he would reveal. He didn’t believe the others would approve of his decision to befriend Bilbo in his more vulnerable state. Even he had to admit it did not feel completely right - but if he wanted to have a chance at making reparations towards Bilbo, then he could see no other way. 

Dinner ended shortly after that, with Thorin making his escape quickly while trying to seem like he did not think of it as ‘escaping’. He had preparations to make and plans to alter.

* * *

Over the next couple of days, Bilbo agreed to meet more of the dwarves. His successful lunch with Bofur restored some of his former confidence, though he was still rather more quiet than he had been. Ori managed to find some ancient books that recommended some treatments for amnesia, mostly involving walnuts and drinking rosemary tea. Bilbo dutifully vowed to try them all, though he was filled with doubts. While he did want to regain his memories and remember his friends, a big part of him was also afraid of what he might remember. 

Bombur joined them for lunch the next day, leaving his kitchen in the hands of several capable assistants. Bilbo was intimidated by his size until he realised that the reason Bombur was so quiet was because he was also feeling rather awkward about the whole situation. 

“I suppose finding something to talk about with someone who has no memory of you is quite difficult,” Bilbo said. 

Bombur nodded, smiling awkwardly. “I have no idea what to talk about,” he admitted.

“So you just have to get to know each other again,” said Kili, who couldn’t quite understand it. Bilbo was still Bilbo and Bombur was still Bombur and they had gotten along well enough on the journey. “You managed it before.”

“Yes, but I knew who _I_ was back then,” Bilbo replied. “But I don’t know myself anymore.”

Bombur fidgeted with his napkin. “I might have an idea, Mister Baggins,” he said quietly. “To help with your memory.”

“Oh? Then spit it out, Bombur,” Fili urged.

“When we were travelling together, you and me used to talk about our favourite recipes on the road,” the dwarf said. “And you told me all your favourite dishes. I could probably make them, if I can get the right ingredients.”

“And how will that help him?”asked Kili skeptically.

“It’ll be familiar,” Fili replied. “And remember how the scent of the plants Bifur gave him brought back a memory? Maybe the scent of Bilbo’s favourite dishes might bring back more memories.”

“Do you really think that would work?” asked Bilbo dubiously.

Fili shrugged while Kili grinned excitedly. “It’s worth a try, isn’t it? And even if it doesn’t work, then you’ll have lots of delicious food to eat!”

“You would be willing to do this for me?” Bilbo asked, looking to the enormous dwarf.

Bombur’s cheeks turned pink with pleasure as he smiled. “I would be happy to do it. We’re friends, Mister Baggins, even if you don’t remember me.”

Bilbo turned a little pink himself, obviously touched by the gesture. “Thank you, Bombur.” 

Evening dinners with the Company turned into a debate about who would have lunch with Bilbo next. The only dwarf who didn’t press for an hour or two of Bilbo’s time was Dwalin. Balin noticed but kept his questions to himself until after their meal was over. When everyone had gone their separate ways, Balin followed Dwalin a little way down the hallway.

“I wondered if I might have a word with you, brother,” he said. “In private.”

Dwalin gave him a strange look but nodded. “Of course.”

They ended up in one of the still empty training rooms. Once, soldiers and guards had trained for battle in this section of the mountain, though none of their training had prepared them for fending off a dragon. Dwalin was overseeing their restoration but there was much to do and most of the focus was on making the mountain fit to live in, rather than training soldiers and guards to defend it.

“Well, what is it?” Dwalin asked when Balin did not immediately tell him what was on his mind.

"I can't help but notice you're lacking enthusiasm for reuniting with Bilbo," Balin said, frowning slightly. "One might wonder what he would think if he knew."

Dwalin shrugged. “I’ve got my reasons.”

“Indeed, brother?” Balin arched a questioning eyebrow.

Dwalin held out a moment longer. Balin was patient. He had always been able to get answers out of Dwalin when there was something he had preferred to hide. 

“Bilbo’s terrified of everyone right now,” Dwalin said. He didn’t feel the need to say any more than that.

“And you think you will scare him so badly he will run away?” Balin asked.

“I’m hardly approachable,” Dwalin replied. Though he normally would have no problem with the fact that there were those who would go out of their way to avoid him, even find it amusing sometimes, the last thing he wanted was to scare Bilbo when he was already so vulnerable. The hobbit had earned his respect during their travels, and Dwalin’s respect was often hard-won. The warrior had once doubted Bilbo would even make it beyond the borders of the Shire, and had then expected him to turn back at any moment yet still the hobbit had persevered. He had more than earned Dwalin’s respect just by venturing into Smaug’s lair alone. Yet the hobbit that cowered in Fili and Kili’s rooms was not the same hobbit anymore. Perhaps one day, he would be again but for now, Dwalin had no idea what, if anything, he could do to help. Amnesia was not something he could destroy with his axes. “Besides, what help could I possibly be?”

“What help can any of us be? There is little any of us can do,” Balin said. “We are all equally frustrated by that. He is a friend to all of us and we cannot bring his memories back for him. All we can do is show him that he has friends who care for him.”

“We were hardly the best of friends before,” Dwalin pointed out. Bilbo had always seemed a little afraid of him, though the hobbit had never been less than unfailingly polite, in his way. Hobbit manners and customs were different to dwarf customs but Dwalin had never found anything to take offence at. It was only Bilbo’s initial fear of everything that had disgusted Dwalin. It wasn’t until much later he had moved past that and realised that the hobbit was much more than he appeared. 

"I still think you should pay him a visit," Balin said. "What if he regains his memories, only to realise that one of our company didn't care enough to visit him while he was recovering? Just… take a gift or something, a token of friendship, to give him a better first impression of you than last time.”

“Like what?” Dwalin asked. He had already been trying to think of something. It seemed as though all the others were giving gifts or making plans for gifts but he had so far been unable to think of anything himself. “I’m not going crawling about in the muck to pick flower for him, if that’s what you’re suggesting.”

“Not at all,” Balin replied. “I was going to suggest perhaps paying a visit to the library. Ori may have something Bilbo could be interested in reading.”

Dwalin nodded. “Then I’ll go see him in the morning, and speak to Fili and Kili later.”

Balin smiled, pleased. “Glad to hear it. Well, I’ll let you get on, brother. I have duties of my own to attend to as well.”

“Then I’ll see you later,” Dwalin replied. The two brothers went their separate ways and Dwalin would be lying if he said he did not feel a little lighter for their conversation.

* * *

Ori was feeling quite proud of his restoration of Erebor’s great library. There was still much to do, so much that he wasn’t sure it would ever be completed in his lifetime, but every time he was able to fill another shelf with books or scrolls, he felt an undeniable wave of pleasure. Erebor’s treasure had not been just gold and gems, even if that was all the dragon had come for. 

The young dwarf closed another finally restored book and turned to go shelve it, nearly walking into Dwalin. “Oh, Mister Dwalin, I didn’t see you there,” he said, startled. “What are you doing here? …I mean, you don’t normally come to the library,” he added hurriedly, realising how unwelcoming he sounded.

Dwalin didn’t seem to take offence though. “You know, after all we’ve been through together, you’d think you’d stop calling me ‘Mister’,” the warrior said. “It’s just Dwalin, understood?”

Ori felt his cheeks heat up with embarrassment. “I suppose you’re right Mis- uh, Dwalin,” he said. It did seem silly to keep calling him so formally but it was a habit that was hard to break. This was not the first time Dwalin had told him not to call him ‘Mister’.

“Miss Dwalin? Is that what we’re calling you these days?” Nori smirked, dropping an armful of scrolls on the table by Ori’s workplace.

“Nori!” Ori cried, at once startled and scolding. He hadn’t noticed his brother was there. “Don’t say such things!”

“Was there something you wanted, Nori?” Dwalin growled, glaring fiercely at the other dwarf.

”Just returning some scrolls to my brother,” Nori replied, not fazed in the slightest by the look Dwalin was giving him. “Thank you for these, Ori, they’ve been most helpful.”

“Oh, good. I can get them put away,” the young scribe said. He put the book down and began carefully staking the scrolls on top of it. He would rather only have to make one journey to the stacks than two.

“So what brings you to the library?” Nori asked Dwalin. “We don’t often see you ‘round here.”

“I was wondering if Ori had anything Bilbo could read,” he said. “I don’t want to go visiting him empty-handed. Thought a book might be a good idea and if anyone can help me, it’s Ori,” he explained.

“Oh! Of course, I’d be happy to help you, Mister Dwalin,” Ori replied, his expression brightening. He didn’t notice Dwalin’s little sigh and eye-roll. “Let me just put these away and we’ll go find something, alright?” He hefted the book, being careful not to spill the scrolls everywhere. 

"Do you need any help with those?" Nori asked, eyeing the pile of wobbling scrolls. 

"No, I've got it," Ori said cheerfully. "Come on, Mister Dwalin. It won't take me long to put these away and then I'll show you the books written in Westron. You can pick which one to take for Bilbo."

"Mind if I tag along, _Miss_?" Nori asked, grinning. Dwalin wasn't amused and glared fiercely back at the other dwarf. 

"Yes," Ori replied sharply, annoyed both by his brother's teasing of Dwalin and by the fact that neither of his brothers seemed to like leaving him alone. They had all been on the same dangerous journey together, had faced a dragon, had all fought in the Battle of Five Armies but yet still Ori was not allowed to go more than five minutes unsupervised. “Don’t you have something else to be doing?” He stood between Dwalin and Nori, scowling at his older brother. “I know what you’re doing and _stop it!_ ” he hissed.

Nori blinked at him innocently. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I know you too well for that to work, Nori. Go. Away. There's no need for you to hover about like a mother hen. I get enough of that from Dori.” Ori glowered at him until Nori drew back, shrugging nonchalantly. Ori knew he would be hearing about this from Dori later. Whatever differences the two brothers had, both of them agreed on one thing: protecting Ori from everything. But Dwalin was their friend and there was no need to protect Ori from him. Nori just wanted to use Ori's little slip-up to keep teasing Dwalin until there was a fight in his library and Ori wasn't about to stand for that sort of behaviour. If Nori wanted to start a fight with Dwalin, he would have to do it elsewhere - and Ori wouldn't help him if it did come to blows. 

Nori held out a moment or two longer, then stepped back. “Fine, fine. No need to get upset,” he said airily. “I’ll be around though, just in case.”

Just in case of what, Ori didn’t know. He sighed irritably as Nori left, disappearing between two bookcases. “Well, shall we go?” he said to Dwalin. “I’m sorry about that, by the way. He and Dori still like to act like I’m a child in need of their constant protection.”

“They’re just looking out for you,” Dwalin said uncomfortably. “Balin does it to me too, sometimes.”

“I bet he’s not nearly so overbearing,” grumped Ori, leading the way between stacks of shelves and books. Nori was probably listening but Ori didn’t care at the moment. “I don’t get it. We all journeyed together and faced the dragon and fought in the battle and everything so why do they think I need someone to go with me everywhere?”

“Big brothers look out for their younger siblings. It’s just the way it is,” Dwalin replied simply.

“If they could be less tyrannical about it, I would appreciate it better,” grumbled Ori. “Anyway, I think he just wanted to be able to rile you up some more. But you didn’t come here to listen to me grumble. Come on, it’s this way.” 

Compared to the size of the library, the section of restored books and scrolls wasn't very large. Ori and the team of scribes that had accumulated under him (and wasn't that a nice feeling? All those dwarves looking to him for direction instead of dismissing him for his youth) had been working tirelessly but there was so much more to do, and more still being discovered. 

"You've been busy," Dwalin observed as they came to the shelves of finished books.

"Did you think I spend all my time slacking off?" asked Ori. 

"No, no, that's not what I meant at all," Dwalin said hurriedly. "I just didn't know how much you've done, that's all."

Mollified, Ori smiled. "Well, it's not just me, you know. There are a bunch of us all working on it. Grab that ladder for me?" He nodded to one of the ladders attached to the shelves. 

Dwalin grabbed the ladder and pulled it along until Ori told him to stop. There was a basket at the side which could be raised or lowered by a weight and pulley system. He carefully dropped the book and the scrolls in the basket and scrambled up the ladder. 

"Raise the basket for me," he called down. He could have done it himself but it was easier to have someone at the bottom do it for him.

Dwalin dutifully raised the basket by pulling on the rope. Ori put the book away, then shouted down for Dwalin to move the ladder to the end where the scrolls were kept. It wasn't the safest thing to do but Ori trusted that Dwalin wouldn't let him fall. He was sensible enough not to push too fast or stop too suddenly. Still, he could almost hear Dori telling him off for riding the ladder but Ori knew for a fact that Dori wasn't in the library yet and might not find out. It was exhilarating though, both riding the ladder and knowing that he was doing something Dori would wholeheartedly disapprove of. 

Once the scrolls were in place - after checking that Nori hadn't left any marks or damaged them in any way - Ori slid down the ladders, landing with a little flourish. He would have denied vehemently that he was showing off, but he was, hoping that Dwalin might be even a little impressed. He couldn't read anything in the older dwarf's face when he looked up at him but he tried not to let that get to him. 

"The books?" Dwalin asked. 

"This way," said Ori cheerfully. "Most of them are in Khuzdul, but these ones are in the Westron."

"So any of these ones will be alright?" asked Dwalin. 

Ori nodded. "Some of them are historical accounts of Erebor. There are a few books of legends, heroes in far-off places, that kind of thing. Some of them are about elves. I wasn't expecting that, honestly. There are some old tales and some accounts of previous dealing the dwarves of Erebor had with them. Just take whichever one you think Bilbo will enjoy most."

Dwalin nodded, staring at the book spines, trying to think what Bilbo would prefer. He had seemed rather enamoured of the elves in Rivendell, though less enthusiastic after the events in Mirkwood. Still, he might take it into his head to go off to visit the elves if he was reminded of them. No, better stick to something about dwarves and Erebor. That was where he was after all. It would do him good to learn something of the fine kingdom he had helped reclaim. Perhaps he would even be tempted to come out of Fili and Kili's room. He picked out a book and carefully flicked the pages, aware of Ori’s eyes on him. It was a detailed account of several master craftsmen who had been renowned for their skill and contributions to Erebor in their day. There were even illustrations of some of their creations, whether they be exquisite jewellery, towering monuments or devastating weapons. The weaponry would likely not be of much interest to Bilbo but perhaps the other parts would be. 

“This one’ll do,” Dwalin said. “Now I’ll just need to arrange with Fili and Kili to drop by.”

“I’m sure Bilbo will appreciate it,” Ori said. “Especially when he gets his memories back.”

“Aye, well… he’s a friend. Got to make an effort,” replied Dwalin gruffly. “I’ll tell him to bring it back when he’s done.”

Ori nodded, his smile fading a bit. “I hope he does. It’s not right, him being shut up in that room, too afraid to come out when he was brave enough to walk into a dragon’s den for us.”

Dwalin clapped him on the shoulder, sending him stumbling sideways. “He’ll get better. Don’t you worry about it. He’s full of surprises, that one.”

“I hope so. Maybe Gandalf can help when he gets here,” Ori replied.

“Maybe,” agreed Dwalin, though he did not have as much faith in the old wizard as Ori seemed to. He was too full of his own plans and machinations.

Bidding goodbye to Ori, Dwalin left the library with the book tucked under his arm. 

Nori waiting for him just outside. “Dwalin,” he greeted. “I wonder if we could have a word with you…”

“Aye? What about?” Dwalin asked, frowning.

“Concerning Ori,” Nori replied. “And ladders,” he added under his breath.

The warrior let himself be led off to a quieter corner of the kingdom, resolutely ignoring the sinking feeling that he was in trouble. He had a feeling he already knew what Nori was going to say and fully expected Dori to get involved soon. But still, the brothers Ri were friends and comrades. Surely he couldn’t be in that much trouble?

‘ _I never should have pushed that bloody ladder._ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that scene with Dwalin and Ori kinda blindsided me and I have no idea where it came from but it seemed natural to write a scene with them after the bit with Balin. I'm really not sure about the bit with Nori but he sort of wrote himself in.
> 
> There are too many bloody characters to keep up with. Ugh. I'm really trying not to leave anyone out.
> 
> If there are any glaring errors - or even any subtle errors - by all means, point them out. Any and all comments will be loved and treasured.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this was a long time coming. Nearly a year. In fact, if I waited two more days, then it would be a year. I've been promising to post this since Monday however, and I won't put it off any more. I'm still not convinced it's 100% ready but I never am so...
> 
> Sorry that it's taken so long, but in my defence, it's been a busy year. I've moved house and got puppy, both of which take up a lot of time. Even though I moved in April, most of my stuff is still in boxes - including all my writing stuff. All the notes I've made for this story, snippets of chapters and conversations is in a little box inside a bigger box somewhere in this house. I just need to find it.
> 
> Thank you once again to everyone who has read this story and left a review and/or kudos. You've inspired me to keep going with this, even after all this time. Thank you for your patience and hopefully, the next chapter won't take as long!

Bilbo’s dreams were full of dark places and deep voices. He was running from something, slipping and sliding, tripping over his own feet in his haste to get away from some unseen enemy. There was a rumble like thunder behind him and he knew he was going to die. He just wasn’t running fast enough, would never be able to run fast enough and now he was going to burn-

Bilbo awoke with a gasp, shaking and sweating under the blanket. He stared into the darkness, then slid a hand under his pillow, seeking the comforting smoothness of his ring.

It wasn’t there. 

Bilbo patted around some more. He couldn’t feel it anywhere. He sat up in a panic, throwing the pillow across the room. No ring. He felt around the bedside table for the little box matches. He lit the candle with shaking hands and began looking around frantically for his ring. Where was it? Where had it gone? It wasn’t in the bed, tangled in the sheets. He even checked the pillow, in case it had somehow slipped inside the case. When that proved fruitless, he got down on hands and knees, peering under the bed. His eyes caught a golden gleam and he sighed in relief. He snatched it up and sat back, clutching it to his chest.

There was a quiet knock at the door. “Bilbo? I heard movement..” Kili poked his head around the door. “Are you alright?”

Bilbo jumped to his feet, hiding his hands behind his back. “Yes, yes, I’m fine. I just… had a bad dream, that’s all.” He scrambled back into bed, then realised he had left his pillow on the floor. 

Kili picked it up and handed it to him. “What did you dream?” he asked.

Bilbo slipped the ring under the blanket and accepted the pillow. “I- I don’t know. I was being chased and if I was caught, then I was going to die but I don’t know what I was running from. Just that it was big. Bigger than big. It was massive but I was too scared to turn back.”

“Well, there’s not much point in going to sleep again,” Kili said. “We’d be waking you again soon enough. Unless you’d rather sleep?”

Bilbo shook his head. “No, I… I don’t think I do.” The nightmare had unsettled him and he didn’t wish for a repeat, and in any case, the shock of losing his ring had him fully awake now.

“I’ll send Fili down for some breakfast then,” Kili said.

“You will not!” Fili called from the other room. “It’s your turn today!”

Kili pouted and turned to argue. Bilbo smiled at their antics and slid out of bed again to get dressed. He was meeting another one of their company today and he wanted to be ready.

As it happened, he didn’t think anything could have prepared him for Dwalin. The dwarf looked so large and threatening, even more than Thorin had. Still, he hadn’t tried to hurt Bilbo and the brothers both vouched for him. There was an awkwardness that hung over their lunch like a bad smell though. An uncomfortable silence filled the room, broken only by the sounds of idle chewing and Bilbo pushing his food around his plate.

Fili and Kili exchanged looks across the table. This was going nowhere fast. Bilbo was too scared to talk and Dwalin wasn't much of a talker anyway. With silent looks and raised eyebrows they tied to encourage each other to break the silence. 

"Will you two stop that?" snapped Dwalin. 

Fili and Kili blushed, ducking their heads. 

"Sorry, we just wanted to break the silence..." Kili mumbled.

"By pulling faces at each other?" Dwalin asked. "Yeah, that was incredibly loud of you."

"Oh, shut up," Kili replied, pouting. 

Bilbo couldn't help laughing at them, hiding his grin behind his hands. "Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh..."

But none of them seemed upset by it. Fili and Kili even looked proud to have caused it. 

"Don't know how you put up with these two, Master Baggins," Dwalin said. "Do they not drive you up the walls sometimes?"

"Not at all," Bilbo replied obstinately. "They've been really very good to me."

Dwalin sat back in his chair. "Aye, they are. I meant no offence, Master Baggins, but I've known these two since they were tiny, seen them get into all kinds of scrapes. Could tell you some interesting stories, if you've a mind to hear them. There was this one time, involving a basket of apples and a horse and-"

"No!" Kili all but leapt out of his seat to silence Dwalin.

"Do you want some more tea, Dwalin? How about some more pork?" Fili asked desperately. 

Kili had his hands over Dwalin's mouth by this point, telling him repeatedly to shut up. He turned back to Bilbo. "Don't listen to anything he says, Bilbo! He's mad and delusional and there was no horse incident!"

Bilbo stared with wide eyes for a moment. Then the utter ludicrousness of the situation sank in and he burst out laughing. Dwalin flailed his arms about until he managed to pry Kili off and shove him back into his seat. 

"Alright, alright, that's enough." Dwalin scowled at Kili. "Settle down."

"Just don't tell him about that," Kili muttered rebelliously. 

"Oh, but now I have to hear it!" Bilbo exclaimed. "If you react like that, then it must be good."

"Bilbo! Don't encourage him!" pleaded Fili. "This story... really doesn't show us at our best."

"Fili, I've been living with you for... well, I'm not sure how long. You've been wonderful to me, both of you have. But I've also seen you both first thing in the morning. I'm sure this story wouldn't make me think any less of you, especially of you were just young children at the time," Bilbo said patiently. 

"I still don't want you to know," Kili muttered, folding his arms like a sullen child. 

"Maybe another time," Dwalin suggested. "Anyway, I brought you something, Master Baggins."

"Oh?" Bilbo looked startled. He hadn't expected it of the tattooed dwarf. 

Dwalin reached into the bag he had brought with him and pulled out a book. "You used to talk about how you missed your books so I had Ori help me pick this out for you from the library. It's all about Erebor - well, how the kingdom used to be. Thought maybe you'd find it interesting."

Bilbo took it carefully. He opened it gently and flicked through some of the pages, smiling in delight at the detailed illustrations. "Thank you, it's very thoughtful of you."

"Ori says you can return it whenever you like," Dwalin replied. "He's got a bunch of books you can read, probably have more by the time you finish that one."

Bilbo looked up nervously at that. “You mean… I would have to visit the library..?” he asked quietly, eyes wide and fearful.

“There’s no rush,” Kili assured him. “Take your time and we can take you to the library whenever you feel you want to.”

Bilbo opened his mouth wordlessly. He kept shooting glances at the door. Logically, he knew he couldn’t stay in Fili and Kili’s room forever. Somewhere out there, in the big wide world, was a home of his own. He just couldn’t remember it right now and the thought of making the journey to find somewhere he didn’t know anymore was terrifying. But maybe he would be able to manage a visit to the library one day.

“Would it… be crowded?” he asked. Maybe if it wasn’t crowded, it would be easier.

To his relief, Dwalin shook his head. “There are always a few dwarves down there - Ori’s usually there, and a few others but it’s not crowded. There’s not many with the skills to restore all those books and most dwarves prefer to make the mountain livable again. You won’t see many dwarves in there these days.”

Bilbo bit his lip uncertainly. “…Perhaps I could go one day,” he said. It would be nice, not to be confined to these rooms. It would be wonderful to not be scared. The problem was that he couldn’t imagine it. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have no fear of strangers, to be able to walk the corridors without avoiding everyone in case they thought to hurt him. He couldn’t even imagine leaving the mountain and going back to his far away home. He couldn’t remember what was outside the mountain. Just pain and loneliness. 

Fili and Kili smiled encouragingly. “We’ll go with you,” Fili promised.

“You won’t have to do it alone,” Kili added.

“Aye, and you’ll have the rest of us to help as well,” Dwalin said. 

Bilbo still felt scared, but he was glad to know that he wouldn’t have to do anything alone. Fili and Kili would push him to visit the library eventually, the same way they had pushed him into meeting with the dwarves - perhaps not the best methods but with the best of intentions - and they would make sure he didn’t have to do it alone. Not for the first time, it struck him that he truly wasn’t alone anymore. He apparently had quite a number of friends, some of whom he would have thought were the kind of person he be friends with, nor call him friend. 

“Thank you,” the hobbit said, as sincerely as he could manage.

“You have no need to thank us,” Dwalin said. “You’re one of us. One of the Company of Thorin Oakenshield. Maybe that doesn’t mean much to you now, but it will.”

Bilbo nodded, hoping that it was true, that it would come to mean something to him again someday, even if the mention of Thorin caused him to tense, reaching for his pocket as though just saying his name would cause him to appear. With time, maybe he could even forget his fear of Thorin. 

Soon, Dwalin had to leave. He had duties of his own to attend to - as to the princes, he reminded them. Allowances had been made for them but they could not neglect their duties forever. 

“You can go if you need to,” Bilbo said. “It will give me some time to read in peace.”

Fili and Kili shared a look and reluctantly let themselves be pushed out of their room, promising to be back soon. Bilbo forced a smile, letting it drop as soon as the door was shut. He had hardly realised how much Fili and Kili were abandoning in order to keep him company. Of course they had other things to do. They couldn’t be expected to babysit him all the time. Bilbo picked up the book and settled made himself comfortable in one of the chairs to read, yet he couldn’t stop glancing at the door. It wasn’t that he was waiting for the brothers to come back. Instead, he was thinking of his attempt at leaving and kingdom beyond the door.

Once day, he would venture out and see it for himself. Today was not that day though. Today, he would sit and read about it. The book was filled with all kinds of wonders. Once he was successfully distracted from staring at the door, Bilbo read with fascination of the history Erebor and gaped over the extraordinarily detailed illustrations. Some of the passages described parts of Erebor he realised he had seen, yet they were not nearly so wondrous now as the book claimed them to be. It was obvious that some tragedy had befallen the mountain kingdom - the dragon Fili and Kili had mentioned? But how did one go about ousting a dragon? Perhaps he should ask. They had said he had had something to do with it, hadn't they?

Bilbo shivered. He couldn't imagine seeing a dragon. Why would he want to? No doubt it had been terrifying and he had no wish to recall anything like that. Although he wouldn't mind knowing why he would so such a thing in the first place. 

* * *

Thorin didn't expect to see Fili and Kili before dinner, sure that they would be keeping Bilbo company. It was their usual habit after Bilbo had had a visitor. Yet there they were, talking with Balin and Dwalin in one of the busier corridors well before dinner time. 

“Do my eyes deceive me? Are my nephews truly here, attending to their duties instead of being holed up in their chambers?” he greeted, while there were other dwarves within earshot. “I trust all is well with Master Baggins?” he asked, once he was close enough to speak without unwanted ears overhearing his words.

“Bilbo is fine,” Kili replied. “He kicked us out so he could read in peace.”

“And so we could attend to the duties we have been neglecting,” Fili added, looking only a little guilty.

"Besides, Bilbo's probably sick of the sight of these two by now," Dwalin said. "Mahal knows I would be."

The brothers turned twin wounded looks on Dwalin, who remained unaffected. 

"Well, this could work out nicely," Balin said. "I was planning a trip into Dale. Perhaps Kili could accompany me, while Fili aids Thorin."

Both Fili and Kili pouted at the thought of being separated but there was a reason for Balin's suggestion. As Fili was Thorin's heir, he had to learn how to perform a king's duties. Kili, on the other hand, would be better served learning how to advise him as Balin did Thorin - though Balin do not share his thoughts regarding just how much Kili had to learn. He was just grateful that they had time to teach Kili at all, that he was still around to be taught.

"That sounds like a fine idea," Thorin agreed.

"Then it is settled," Balin replied. "Come along, Kili."

"Don't we get any say?" the younger dwarf asked.

"Since you're most likely going to protest... No," Balin told him, already walking away

Kili pouted but bade farewell to he others and hurried to catch up. Dwalin also made his excuses and left, leaving Fili alone with Thorin.

"Come, Fili. We have work to do," Thorin clapped his nephew on the shoulder, leading him away.

Fili sighed, knowing there was no escape. He would rather have gone with Kili and Balin. At least they would be outside the mountain, away from things like reports and listening to dwarves demand things of their uncle.

This time it seemed there would be no court though. Thorin took Fili back to his quarters and pointed him at the desk.

"I've got far too many reports coming across my desk to keep up with. All the guild masters want something, the reparations supervisors, exploration teams... I think every group has formed a committee dedicated to giving me unnecessarily long winded reports which basically boil down to "Can we have more funds?"." Thorin sighed and picked up a sheaf of papers. "You're going to go through this pile and pick out anything you think is important I need to see. Anything you think is suitable, you may authorize yourself and anything you thin is pointless at this time can wait. I'm going through this pile here." Thorin gestured to a bigger pile of papers.

Fili started down at the papers in his hands. "Is this some kind of punishment?" he asked. "Because whatever I did wrong, I'm sorry. Really, I am."

Thorin chuckled. "Not a punishment, Fili. A necessary task and one I hate. I look forward to the day when things have settled enough that I can find someone trustworthy enough to do this all for me."

"So you're sharing the boredom with me. I'm honoured," Fili said flatly.

"One day, when you are king, you will have this responsibility, so it is better to get used to it now," replied Thorin. "And when it's your responsibility, you can delegate it all to someone else."

"Like you're doing."

"You have to learn from someone," Thorin said. He grinned at Fili's exasperated expression. "Be glad I've taken the lion's share of the work this time. Next time, I might give it all to you."

"Oh, I'm sure I will be..." Fili took his pile of papers over to the fireplace, to sit in the armchair. Thorin took the seat at the desk and they worked more or less in silence for several long minutes. The only sound was the crackle of the fire and the rustle of paper. Fili gave an account from the jewelers guild a cursory glance - a request for more space, a bigger hall in the guild sector just like every other guild was asking for - and set it aside. There would be time to settle territorial claims later, when they had made the mountain liveable again. He understood that they were eager to resume their craft, using their knowledge and skills to add to the wealth and reputation of Erebor, but after seeing what the gold had done to Thorin, Fili had no desire to gain more of it. There was still more than enough in the vaults to rebuild Erebor. Thorin had refused to look at it after the battle, and had ordered it shut away, locked deep in the mountain. Balin was the only one who was permitted access to it, keeping Thorin up to date with spending reports so that the king knew how much remained. Some had been given to Bard and his people to rebuild Dale, which they had been accomplishing with remarkable speed. The jewels the Elven king Thranduil desired had been set aside, should he return to claim them but so far, he had not and nor would any dwarf set foot in Mirkwood. Though elf and dwarf had battled together against the orcs, they were still little more than uneasy allies. 

"Fili." Thorin broke the silence, sounding unusually uncertain. "There is something i wish to ask you."

"Oh?" Fili set aside the papers on his lap to give his uncle his full attention.

"And please understand that I ask, not as king under the mountain but as one member of the Company to another. I would like to pay Bilbo a visit, as the others have done," Thorin said. "If he is willing, of course."

"You did give him a rather terrible shock," Fili said. "But he has been showing some of his old fortitude in dealing with dwarves. I'll ask him for you." The young dwarf stood and stepped towards the door. "In fact, I may as well ask him now."

"It can wait," Thorin said. "Sit down and finish going through those papers." He chuckled as Fili visibly wilted. "You do not get out of this so easily, Fili."

"It was worth a try," Fili replied, smiling ruefully.

It was another hour before he was able to leave. Thorin eventually took pity on him and let him go to see if Balin and Kili were back from Dale yet. When he found out that they hadn't returned, the dwarf went back to their rooms. 

Bilbo was curled up with the book Dwalin had given him, fast asleep. Fili carefully took the book before it fell to the floor, trying not to wake the sleeping hobbit. He set it to one side and then picked up the sleeping hobbit to put him to bed. Sleeping in the chair didn’t look comfortable at all. Fili was pleased to note that Bilbo seemed heavier than when they had first found him.He was no longer so skinny, but still was much thinner than he should have been. He was recovering though, and Fili was hopeful for a full recovery to the hobbit they had all once known and loved.

Fili had just shut the bedroom door when there came a rapid knocking at the door. Knowing that only members of the Company were allowed in this part of the mountain, he hurried to answer it.

Nori stood on the other side, grinning. "You're needed at the gate, Fili. Your brother's already there, just returned from Dale, and if you don't hurry on down, I fear the consequences."

"What are you talking about?" asked Fili, closing the door behind him. He knew it couldn't be anything terrible, or else Nori wouldn't be smiling at him like that.

Nori's grin widened. "Your mum's here."


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dis arrives in Erebor, and Nori has a gift for Bilbo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am for reals the worst ever. I finished this chapter in April according to the file date but I kinda... had things I wanted to do before I posted it and then never got around t doing them. Like making sure this chapter flows with the rest of the fic and also making a few minor edits to earlier chapters - fixing typos and suchlike. But. Uh.
> 
> Anyway. If you notice anything off about this chapter PLEASE let me know so I can edit it.

After the Battle of Five Armies, the men of Dale and the dwarves of Erebor came to an agreement about the gold owed to the people of Laketown - now the people of Dale. Thorin had been eager to make up for going back on his word, undoing all the wrongs he had done when the dragon sickness clouded his mind. If he was perhaps a little more generous that strictly necessary in his guilt over his treatment of Bilbo and the hobbit’s disappearance, no one mentioned it but Bard was grateful. It was agreed that a certain amount of the gold would be taken to Dale each month, escorted by Balin and armed guards, and this time, Kili, as keeping that amount of gold in the mostly ruined town could only attract trouble. Bard trusted the people who followed him, but there was still a risk of thieves and bandits coming into the town if they heard that there was a large amount of gold just sitting around, waiting to be stolen. The trip also served to strengthen the alliance between the men and the dwarves. If either side had a grievance with the other, then Balin and Bard would talk it out, at least in theory. So far, there had been no problems since the first payment had been met. At that point, Bard had still been suspicious of the dwarves, not sure that they would not go back on their word again, but Thorin was insistent that everything be done to secure their friendship and so there had been no problems. Instead, the meetings served to keep Bard updated on the progress of Erebor’s reconstruction and Balin updated on the progress made in Dale. 

Normally, after such a meeting, Balin would return directly to the mountain with the guards but as Kili was with him this time, he granted permission for the guards to either return to the mountain or browse the market with them. Kili, bored stiff throughout the meeting, suddenly perked up. Balin didn’t bother hiding his amusement. Most of the guards returned to the mountain but two stayed behind, trailing Balin and Kili by a short distance.

The markets of Dale were not yet what they once were, but Balin could easily see a return to the good old days. There was still much to be done to restore the human city but there were plenty of people about these days to do their part. There were mostly humans selling their wares and browsing the stalls but there one or two elves and several other dwarves from the mountain. Kili eyed the elves with interest, but he didn’t approach them. Instead, he pretended to be looking over a stall of jewellery. None of it was up to the standard of the jewels they had found within the mountain but they were well made nonetheless. Balin, though he was keeping an eye on Kili, turned his attention to a stall selling leather-bound books. There were some almanacs, but most were blank notebooks waiting to be filled. Some were plain and some had designs embossed on the covers. One was a design of a tree with a complicated tangle of branches reaching upwards. Balin picked it up for a closer look, flipping through blank pages to inspect for quality. Perhaps Bilbo could use it, write down all that he could remember of his old life or make a record of the new memories he was making within the mountain. Satisfied with his find, Balin purchased it. No sooner had money exchanged hands than a commotion further down the street caught his attention.

The crowd parted and a procession of dwarves, apparently escorted by elves, came forwards. Not just any dwarves, however. Kili spotted them at the same time as Balin, and recognised the leader immediately. 

“Mother!” He tore down the street and would have leapt into the cart if Dis had not jumped down and met him half way.

“Kili! Oh, my Kili!” They embraced, clinging to each other tightly. Balin hurried down towards them.

“Mother, I can’t believe you’re finally here!” Kili said, drawing back. 

“It’s great to see you again. Is Fili here also? I hadn’t expected to see you until I reached Erebor,” Dis said, looking about for her other son.

“Fili is helping Thorin, back in the mountain,” answered Kili. “But I’m sure you’ll set him free, won’t you?”

“Ah, yes. My dear brother. I’m looking forward to seeing him again soon.” Dis was smiling, but there was a sharp look in her eyes that gave Kili and Balin reason to believe that Thorin wouldn’t enjoy their reunion nearly as much as his sister would. “So tell me, what have you been up to since your last letter? Come, sit on the cart with me and you can tell me everything. You too, Balin. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you.”

“Lady Dis, I would hardly assume otherwise. You always had such sharp eyes.” Balin smiled. “Now, do my eyes deceive me or do you have elvish escorts?”

He looked past Dis and Kili to the procession of carts and the elves in gleaming armour beside them.

“No, it’s true. When we came past Mirkwood, they emerged from the trees. King Thranduil sent them to ensure there were no further complications to our journey.” There was a suspicious tone to her voice, as though she wasn’t sure of the elven king’s motives Had they been sent to ensure the dwarves arrived safely at Erebor or to prevent them from causing mischief of some kind in the woods? “We are… most grateful, of course.” This she said for the benefit of the elves standing closest. They would not be taking tales of ungracious dwarves back to the woods with them.

Kili glanced about the elves, no doubt seeking a familiar face but Balin kept his mouth shut. Tauriel had not been seen since the battle. She had been the one to save Fili and Kili, but had been called away by the elves before they had recovered. It had been clear that she had not wanted to go, and Balin doubted they had seen the last of her. Kili still thought of her, though he had stopped asking after her after weeks and months of no word. 

Balin sent their guard ahead of them to the mountain and then hopped up on to the cart beside Dis. Kili climbed on the other side, using the boost in height to have another glance at the assembled elves.

"Giving my brother time to hide, Balin?" Dis asked, watching the dwarf guard slip quickly through the crowds.

Kili tore his gaze away from the elves. "Thorin won't hide, Mum," he said.

"He'll wish he did by the time I'm through with him," Dis replied. "Going up against that dragon, getting involved in a war, nearly getting my boys killed..." she muttered darkly.

"It was not all his fault," Balin said quietly. "When the sickness took hold of his mind, he was not himself."

"And before then?"

"Before then we were still capable of making up our own minds," Kili said. "He asked us to follow him, to help him reclaim our kingdom and that's what we did. We knew it was dangerous, we knew we might not survive but we agreed anyway." Kili frowned at her. "We're not children anymore, mum. You don't need to protect us."

Dis stared at him in silence for a moment. "You have grown up, haven't you?" she said quietly. "You know I'm proud of you, don't you? It wasn't easy for me to let you and Fili go, and Mahal knows I didn't want you to, but I'm proud that you felt strongly enough about it to go anyway."

Kili fell silent for a long moment. "This place is our home. Even if we hadn't been here before, I knew it. I felt it as soon as I saw the gates, when I walked the hallways, slept within. It is home, and I'm glad to have fought to reclaim it."

"You're a true Durinson," Dis said, patting his shoulder. "And so is your uncle, and I'm still going to give him a thrashing over this. Honestly. Do you have any idea what his letters are like?" She deepened her voice to imitate Thorin's. "'Dear Dis, have reclaimed Erebor. Fought some orcs. Azog is definitely dead this time. Come as soon as you are able, Thorin.'" She threw her hands up. "I didn't even know Azog wasn't dead until Thorin mentioned him in that bloody letter!"

"It was a surprise for us too," Balin said. "Alas, I think that story may have to wait until later."

Ahead of them, the mountain loomed. The gates, were wide open, welcoming the dwarves of Erebor home. Crowds of dwarves had come to greet the newcomers. Shouts went up from the caravan, as people spotted friends and relatives crowding the entrance. Conversation lapsed into silence as the dwarves aboard the carts spotted the gates, some for the first time since fleeing, and others seeing them for the first time. Dis drew in a shaky breath. It wouldn’t do to break down now, she told herself, but it was hard. She was finally _home._

Kili slipped his hand into hers. “It takes my breath away too,” he confided in a whisper.

Dis smiled, and squeezed his hand. She didn’t dare take her eyes off the carved stone mountainside, the huge statues guarding the entrance, the very gates themselves. It felt almost like a dream, and if not for the comforting solidness of Kili’s hand in hers, she might have thought she was asleep. As the cart rolled through the great stone gates at last, she gave Kili’s hand a final squeeze, but kept her grip until the cart came to a halt in front of Thorin, and all the other dwarves who had gathered to witness her arrival.

A very large part of Dis wanted to thump Thorin for all the worry he had caused her, dragging her sons away on a perilous journey to face a dragon (well, maybe not dragging so much as 'not trying hard enough persuading her sons to stay home') and getting embroiled in a war (most of which she heard about from other people and not Thorin). Her frustration had kept her going through all her time awaiting to hear news and it had sustained her on her own journey to the mountain. Most of the dwarves she had travelled with were wary of her temper now, and doubtless many of them expected her to knock Thorin out as soon as they reached Erebor. Judging from the look on Thorin's face as she climbed down from the cart, he expected the same. It was hard to say who was more surprised when her anger melted away almost instantly and she pulled him into a rib-crushing embrace, hiding tearful eyes in his long hair.

"Idiot," she muttered thickly into his ear. "Would it have killed you to send a proper letter once in a while?"

"Quite possibly," he replied, gently teasing.

Dis clung to him for a moment longer and then pulled away. She wiped at her eyes. "Don't think you're getting out of being thumped later. It just wouldn't look good for the people to see their king being beaten by his sister," she muttered.

"Duly noted," Thorin replied.

"Mum!" A blond blur all but tackled Dis.

"Fili!" Dis clung to him tightly. "Oh, my boy. I've missed you and Kili so much."

"We've missed you too," Fili said, voice muffled by the thick furs she was wearing. Though the weather was warming up, it was still chilly on the road.

Kili came up behind Dis, wrapping his arms around both his brother and mother, who immediately adjusted their embrace to include him. Around them, similar greetings were taking place as the other dwarves reunited with their loved ones as well. There was no shortage of wet eyes and handkerchiefs being passed around. Thorin took his eyes off his sister and nephews only briefly to take it all in, and was surprised to find his vision blurring slightly.

“There now, laddie. This is what we truly fought for, is it not?” Balin said quietly at his side.

“Aye. Erebor is not, and has never been just a mountain full of treasure. It is home,” Thorin murmured. “I regret ever losing sight of that.”

“You may yet be able to put things right,” replied Balin.

Thorin shook his head. “I can make amends, but nothing will undo all I did.”

“All you did?” Dis looked up from her sons. “Thorin? Am I missing something?”

Fili and Kili pulled back, shared a look with each other and then glanced at Thorin. There expressions showed nothing but resolve.

“We’ll tell you, Mum,” Fili said quietly, so as not to be overheard by anyone save those standing closest.

“But not here,” Kili added. “There’s… a lot to tell, and you probably want to get comfortable first.”

“Speaking of which, we’ve had your old rooms restored,” Balin said, cheerfully trying to change the subject.

Dis looked torn. On one hand, she wanted to know what was going on with her brother and sons, but on the other, she did desperately want a rest and a decent meal somewhere more comfortable than a roadside inn or the back of a cart. “I should see to it that those who accompanied me are settled first,” she said, shaking her head.

“You’ve done enough just getting them here in one piece,” Balin said. “Let me handle the rest. You need your rest just as much as anyone else.”

Dis turned to look over the other dwarves crowding the entrance hall. Though many had found others they knew, there were still those hanging back, who had not had anyone waiting for them. “Let me help with those who are alone, at least,” she said. “I cannot abandon them all now, after the journey we have shared together.”

“We’ll help too,” Kili said cheerfully. Fili nodded in agreement. 

“Many hands make light work,” Thorin added. “Come, let us make sure that everyone will have a bed for the night and a warm meal at the very least.”

* * *

Nori knew he wouldn’t have much time before he was expected to join the others in the grand entrance hall, but he still planned to take full advantage of the opportunity granted to him when Fili raced off down the corridor to greet Dis. Checking for witnesses, he slipped into the princes’ rooms. A quick glance showed him that Bilbo wasn’t in the main room, so he was probably sleeping. 

He could possibly sneak in and leave a note for Bilbo, but he would prefer to talk to the hobbit personally. Without an audience.

He shut the door, only to hear a faint gasp behind him. He turned to see the bedroom door slightly more open than it had been, but no sign of the hobbit.

“Bilbo, if you’re there and awake, I’d like to introduce myself. I’m Nori, brother to Dori and Ori, at your service. He bowed towards the bedroom door, aware of eyes on him even if he couldn’t see Bilbo at that moment. “We were friends once, and I bring a gift for you. One best not shared in front of others. I know how protective Fili and Kili are of you. They lost you once, and they don’t want to risk it again, so they might not be too happy about me giving you this.”

There was no reply, but Nori could imagine the way Bilbo was watching him. He made a show of pulling a scroll out of his inner pocket. “I don’t know if the others have menitoned, but I have a special job around Erebor these days. I’m officially the spymaster for Thorin, though there’s few enough who know that. Makes my job easier, let me tell you. In any case, this here is a special map of the mountain. I’ve very carefully copied it from some of the old scrolls Ori had in the library, and made my own notes to show where we’ve restored the old place since the dragon was ousted, and the lesser used passageways. There’s even a few secret passages on here as well. I figured it would be useful if you want to get down to the library yourself one day, without coming across too many strangers. Or the kitchen, Mahal knows the others ave told me you need a few more decent meals in you, so don’t be afraid to pester Bombur for snacks.”

Realising he was rambling, and should be leaving before Fili and Kili came back, Nori set the scroll on the table. “I’m going to leave this here, and I advise you to take it before Fili and Kili get back. I’ll arrange an official meeting through them later, but I thought I’d take the opportunity to hand this over now. Until we meet again, Mister Baggins.”

He turned back towards the door, and was half out of the room when a quiet voice behind him said, “Thank you, Master Nori.”

He very carefully didn’t jump, and glanced back to see Bilbo standing by the table, map clutched in his hands. The princes were right, he thought. Much too thin, but it made those wide eyes seem that much bigger. He hadn’t heard a single sound to indicate that Bilbo had moved, but then Bilbo had always been surprisingly sneaky for someone who had looked like a grocer when they first met. 

“Think nothing of it, Bilbo.” He smiled quickly, and then was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is loved. Please do point out errors and typos and whatever if you think something is wrong. This is taking me so long to write that I'm sure there will be inconsistencies and other stuff. 
> 
> I'm also massively insecure about my characterisation of Dis so if you have any feedback about her specifically, please let me know. She is the reason this chapter was so hard to write. Also Fili, because I kept forgetting where he was...

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone interested, I have a tumblr: emmageddon.tumblr.com  
> It's a mish-mash of everything I'm interested in and/or find cool but there's a tag for when I'm rambling about story-related things. Just check out the 'all that is lost' tag.


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